


the hows of us

by yerwhumpwriter



Series: Haikyuu Hospital(ized) Fics [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Medical, Angst, Doctor Iwaizumi Hajime, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Iwaizumi Hajime, Hurt Oikawa Tooru, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Oikawa Tooru, M/M, Medical Intern Tsukishima Kei, Medical Procedures, Soft Hanamaki Takahiro, Soft Sugawara Koushi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:49:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26107492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yerwhumpwriter/pseuds/yerwhumpwriter
Summary: Oikawa was the first one to confess, then Iwaizumi did too.Iwaizumi and Oikawa were bestfriends, then they became lovers, then they became strangers.A story of redemption, when both of them lost each other due to miscommunication.[Iwaizumi's a doctor and Oikawa's a coach.](Inspired by a Filipino movie)(I'm frustrated so I made my own lol)
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Series: Haikyuu Hospital(ized) Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2018653
Comments: 12
Kudos: 70





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, maybe I'll leave a more decent notes when I get my thoughts together...? lol

“That’s all of your things, sir,” the truck driver said. Iwaizumi looked at the tall building in which his apartment is located. The building is in the middle of the city, close to the hospital and to many establishments that will be necessary for him to survive everyday. 

After high school, he decided he wanted to become a doctor. Yes, he considered playing volleyball professionally, but it has always been in his blood to help and treat wounds of people around him. He would help his friends whenever they scrape their knees due to carelessness when he was a child and he even acted as the first aid officer during his high school years, whenever there would be a minor injury with his teammates. He doesn’t know how to put it properly, but it just comes out naturally. So, by the end of their senior year, he decided he would take up medicine. He thanks whoever deity and his parents who gave him such a brain to be able to get into the top medical university in Japan, and be granted a full scholarship. 

Although he is grateful to be able to take up a course that will lead him to the career that he dreams to practice, the journey towards it wasn’t easy. The whole 8 year process didn’t just pass by like the wind--it was a storm, hurricane, and all other natural disasters out there. He is very thankful for his brain as well as his physical strength that he was able to build up by playing volleyball since childhood, that helped him get through it. He wasn’t invincible to stress, and that showed him sides of him he never thought he had. It made him realize a lot of things… as well as lose the most important things for him. 

Nevertheless, he is very thankful for that experience because the real thing IS A LOT WORSE! His sleepless nights increased rapidly and there were times that he can’t even track how many hours he hasn’t slept. One time, he even found himself passed out on the floor of the linen room when he was an intern. So, is he regretting his decision to follow his dream? No. But is he tired of the process? Definitely YES! 

“Please sign here,” the truck driver handed him a clipboard with documents for his moving. He signed the documents and thanked the driver and bid him goodbye. He entered the building and hopped on the elevator. He’d say the building’s pretty big and elegant for its price. It’s not cheap, but it’s not that costly either. He felt satisfied and proud of himself at the same time. 

“Wait!”

The elevator doors were about to close when a hand stopped it from closing. The doors reopened and a man with his left hand full with paper bags of groceries, entered. 

“Sorry, but can you please hold the door? I still have some groceries out here.” the man asked. Iwaizumi was busy looking at his phone when he looked up hearing the voice. He’s sure the voice is something he will never forget. He couldn’t.

The man disappeared and Iwaizumi pressed the button to hold the doors open. The man came back with one more paper bag of groceries in his right hand. The paper bags may be covering his face but that brown hair isn’t something Iwaizumi could forget so easily. After all, he grew up tugging it here and there. 

“Thank you so much!” The man said, positioning himself beside Iwaizumi, putting down one of the paper bags on the elevator floor and fixed his clothes after.

“Phew, I never really enjoyed doing grocery shopping.” the man said as the elevator doors closed. The man looked at their reflection in the elevator doors, and immediately realized who was in the elevator before him. He was shorter, has spiky hair and a very familiar frown, no matter what facial expressions he makes. He's also staring at him, not at their reflection, but AT him.

It seemed like the atmosphere in the elevator lost all its oxygen because both men were no longer breathing… or so they think. 

It was Iwaizumi who first spoke, “Oikawa?”

The taller man gulped down all the emotions running through his mind and thought to himself, _‘This is just one elevator ride, not longer than 5 minutes. Hold it in, Tooru.’_

“Oh, hi there Iwa-ch--Iwaizumi-kun!” He faced the shorter man with his famous smile, the one where his eyes would close along with his smile. 

“It really is you…” Iwaizumi said, his voice fading. Oikawa faced forward again, still wearing the smile. Iwaizumi realized he may be making Oikawa uncomfortable so he faced forward as well and stopped staring at the taller man. 

The elevator indicated that they are now passing the 8th floor, Iwaizumi’s apartment is on the 10th. 30 seconds of heavy, awkward silence that will haunt them for the next few days dawned on them until the elevator dinged. The elevator doors opened. “This is me,” he said and stepped out of the elevator. The other man just nodded. He is obviously sweating. 

“I’ll see you around then,” Iwaizumi said once out of the elevator. Oikawa was about to say something when the elevator doors closed. 

Iwaizumi took five steps, five steps before his legs gave out. Not of exhaustion-- or maybe partly-- but mostly of the tension he just had to experience, and of embarrassment. 

_‘WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT???’_ he thought to himself, sitting at the hallway, his hands up to his ears. _‘What the heck Iwaizumi?!’_ The elevator dinged again, so he stood up quickly and walked to his apartment without looking back, afraid to embarrass himself further. 

“ _This is me?_ ” he mocked himself, _“I’ll see you around, then’?????”_ He doesn’t know what’s wrong with what he said, but it just felt...wrong, considering the fact that he has not seen the man for 6 years. The man might have not wanted to see him at all. 

He laid on his bed, the past 5 minutes kept repeating in his mind. He put his palms on his face.

_What could he have said?_

Then, it dawned on him. They live in the same building. THEY LIVE IN THE SAME BUILDING and he is not taking this realization lightly. IT HAS BEEN 6 MESSED UP YEARS! No matter what floor he lives in, the same instance as earlier could happen, and it might happen not only in the elevator, but also in the laundry room, in the lobby, in the mailbox, in the hallway…

Now that he thought about it, Oikawa did not press any button in the elevator...d i d h e…?

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

The moment the elevator doors opened, Oikawa felt some sort of relief. 

_‘Finally--’_ he thought to himself, but then Iwaizumi spoke, “This is me.”

_‘Eh?’_ Oikawa couldn’t say anything as whatever Iwaizumi said still hasn’t reached his brain processing section, therefore it didn’t make sense. Iwaizumi stepped out of the elevator.

“I’ll see you around then.” Iwaizumi said. 

_‘EH????!?!?!?!?!?!’_

The elevator doors started closing. Oikawa opened his mouth to speak but no voice came out. His legs gave out on him and some of the fruits spilled on the elevator floor. 

“What…” he whispered to himself.

_‘What the frig?!?!?! Why is he here?!?!? Why, of all apartment buildings, why here?!?!?!’_ His thoughts were running so fast. 

_‘AND ON THE SAME FRIGGIN FLOOR?!?!?!’_

“Uuuuuggghhh this is so bad, AND awkward!!!” he said frustratedly. He picked up the fruits from the floor and stood up. He pressed the button to open the elevator doors. He took the second bag of groceries and stepped out of the elevator. Then, he sees Iwaizumi hurriedly opening and closing his apartment door. 

“Great,” he said exasperatedly. “Now we live next to each other.” He grunted and walked to his apartment, just the opposite door to Iwaizumi’s. So that’s what the landlord was talking about, the new guy moving in that apartment; that’s also what those trucks were about earlier this morning…

He dropped the paper bags at the kitchen counter, and dragged himself to the sofa. He laid down and put his forearm on top of his forehead, eyes closed. 

Memories suddenly came flooding back to him…


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback, flashbacks, flashbacks

_Things started out great. They got together the moment they graduated from high school. Iwaizumi finally confessed to Oikawa that he likes, scratch that,_ **_loves_ ** _him too. Oikawa had already confessed._

_It happened the night after graduation, when Iwaizumi invited Oikawa over since his parents were going to his grandmother’s place to randomly visit. He told his parents he wanted to come, but there were things to accomplish, like his scholarship application._

_Oikawa came in a few minutes after his parents left. Iwaizumi asked Oikawa to help him fill out some forms since it wouldn’t matter if it’s information about him because they’ve literally known each other since birth._

_As the night approached, the two got tired of filling out forms and composing letters for the scholarship, so they decided to lay down. There was silence, as the two of them lay on Iwaizumi’s bed. It was dark, with only the moonlight and desk lamp as the source of light._

_They weren’t sure but they believed they could hear each other’s heart beating--fast and loud._

_“Iwa--”_

_“Tooru,”_

_Oikawa was taken aback by Iwaizumi’s use of his first name._

_“You first,” Iwaizumi said, looking at Oikawa. Oikawa faced him as well. “No, you first, Hajime.” he said, teasingly._

_It was dark but Iwaizumi still couldn’t hide the blush in his face._

_“Listen,” Iwaizumi started. “Remember when you said you like me…”_

_Now it’s Oikawa’s turn to blush._

_“... and I kept on telling you you’re just mistaking it for liking me as your best friend…” Iwaizumi stopped for a moment. Oikawa didn’t know hearts could beat that fast!_

_“I-I think I understand what you meant…” Iwaizumi continued. “I think, I think I understood it the moment you said it, I just denied it…” his sentences never seemed to have an end._

_“I just denied the fact that,” Iwaizumi paused, hesitated. It was a little bit longer than the other pauses._

_“The fact that?” Oikawa prodded. Iwaizumi seemed to have a hard time finding words, but Oikawa waited patiently._

_“...the fact that...I...also like you.” Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa’s eyes, which were wide with shock. To say that he didn’t expect that would be a lie, but what he didn’t expect was how beautiful Iwaizumi is when he’s vulnerable. How beautiful his eyes are, looking directly into his._

_God, he loves him. He loves him so bad._

_His lips… his lips are just so damn beautiful. The darkness of his room couldn’t hide the redness and plumpness of it. Makes him want to… makes him want to…_

_Oikawa suddenly leaned to kiss Iwaizumi on the lips. Iwaizumi had a moment of shock, before kissing Oikawa back._

_“I love you,” he moaned, and continued kissing the taller guy._

_“I love you too” the other guy said in between kisses._

_And it all started from there. Oikawa decided to go with Iwaizumi to Tokyo. His grades were good, yes, but he couldn’t really get into the same university as Iwaizumi because, duh, that university only offers medical courses. So, he went to the most prestigious university that wanted to scout him, which was Tohoku University. He took up the course Sports Science, but honestly, his focus was on volleyball, nothing more._

_Things were going great with him and Iwaizumi. They’d always meet halfway, date regularly. Though they can’t really live at the same dorms because Iwaizumi’s scholarship offers lodging as well, and Oikawa’s dorm is inside the university. So, they’d just meet on weekends or when both of their schedules allow it._

_They were happy. They were really happy._

_Until their third year of college. Iwaizumi was taking his first on the job training as a nurse (which was his pre-med), and Oikawa became the captain of their volleyball team. Both of them were busy. So busy, that they could no longer meet. They were still able to communicate through messages, although it didn’t make any difference because they were just exchanges of apologies for “not making it tonight” or “I have some paper works to accomplish” or “Sorry Iwa-chan, we will have late night training”._

_But they still always have “I love you.” at the end of each message exchanges._

_That lasted the whole first semester. They didn’t have a "date" at all. Whenever they did, it would just look like a study date. Iwaizumi glued to paper works and charts he had to accomplish, while Oikawa trying to catch up to his classes because he was too busy managing and coming up with strategies for the volleyball team._

_It’s okay, at least they have each other’s company._

_“_ **_Hey, what time’s our date today again_ ** _?” Oikawa messages Iwaizumi one Saturday. He dressed up for today’s date since he promised himself that he wouldn’t go with his homeworks, but help Iwaizumi instead with his. He can do his homeworks later tonight and sacrifice his sleep for that._

_He was standing at the bus station when he sent the message. He was going to the location they agreed upon yesterday. Apparently, he remembers the place, but not the time. Either way, he decided to still come early. Waiting for Iwa-chan wouldn’t hurt anyway._

_But it did._

_Oikawa sat at one of the tables in the cafe. Iwaizumi still hasn’t replied. He looked at his watch and saw that it was only quarter to 10am._

_‘Maybe he’s still asleep…’ he thought to himself. So he decided to call him. It rang a few times and led him to voicemail. He ended the call and redialed him again. He did that a few times, but still no answer. He sighed and decided to just leave him a message._

**_Hey babe, it’s your most loving and lovable boyfriend, Tooru. Wake up already! In case you forgot, we agreed to meet today hmph_ ** _(he pouted)_ **_Don’t worry about your paperworks, I’m free today, I’ll help you with them! So wakey wakey already! Love you!_ **

_He ended the voicemail and decided to order something to eat and drink._

_He waited another 30 minutes and when Iwaizumi still isn’t there, he decided to call him again. Same thing. Another hour had passed, and then another, and then another. He’s losing phone battery every passing hour since he tries to call Iwaizumi every hour he isn’t there. He waited because Iwaizumi promised he’d be there. He said he’s off nurse duty today. He made sure of it._

_It was already 7pm and it was dark outside. His phone battery is down to 5% and there’s no sign of Iwaizumi at all. He’s already ordered 5 milk bread and 3 cappuccinos, and yet no Iwaizumi came._

_He decided to get out of there because every passing minute that he’s still there, he gets suffocated. He couldn’t understand what he’s feeling. He’s angry but at the same time, he wanted to understand his partner. He wanted to cry, but at the same time there’s no tears coming._

_He decided to walk instead of taking the bus. He needs to understand why his partner didn’t show up. There’s just so much possibilities. He could have slept all day because of exhaustion and forgot about their date, or he could be too focused on studying so he decided to neglect his phone. Or he could have been called on duty, even though he promised, HE FRIGGIN PROMISED, he will be free today._

_He wanted to cry because he suddenly remembered the pile of homeworks he left at home just to free up his day for his boyfriend._

_Before he realized it, he stopped walking and found out that he wasn’t at his dorm, but at their university gym. He opened the door and went in. He decided to practice some serves just to free up his mind._

_He practiced for maybe two to three hours, then decided to go back to his dorm room. He charged his phone that was already empty battery at the time. The moment it turned on, message notifications came popping up._

_They were all from Iwaizumi._

_He looked at the time, it was already 10pm. He looked at the time the messages were sent: 9:58pm_

_He opened the messages:_

**_Hey babe! I’m so sorry. Believe me, I remembered our date. I was already on my way there earlier this morning. But then I was suddenly called on duty because Shimada just happened to be sick today! I’m really sorry. I hope you didn’t wait too long. But knowing you, I trust that you went home after 30 minutes of waiting. Haha! But I promise I will make it up to you baby. Please don’t be mad at me. I love youuuuu_ **

_‘Knew it’ was what Oikawa thought to himself when he finished reading the message. He left it on read. He didn’t reply. He didn’t want to. He couldn’t. Or maybe he didn’t need to._

_He wished that this didn’t happen anymore, but what happened was the direct opposite of his wish. By the second semester of their third year, they could no longer send messages to each other due to their jam packed schedules. Tournaments for Oikawa while nurse duties for Iwaizumi. Whenever they did, it would be late at night, when both of them are resting in between work, but most of the time, one would sleep on the other._

_And the “I love you” is no longer at the end of each message exchanges._

_It was during Oikawa’s post finals tournament when everything fell apart._

_It was the finals and Oikawa’s one way ticket to the Nationals. Iwaizumi once again promised him that he would be there to watch his game. He even showed his schedule. He said he pleaded his professor to let him have that day off and just do extra work on the other days of the week. Oikawa was so thrilled and touched hearing what Iwaizumi did._

_On the day of the tournament, he waited for Iwaizumi outside the gym where they will be playing. Iwaizumi came a few minutes later._

_He couldn’t believe it. He’s really here._

_“You’re here.” he said, still shocked._

_“What do you mean?” Iwaizumi chuckled. “I promised you, didn’t I?” he said. Oikawa hugged him very tightly. Iwaizumi returned the hug, laughing._

_“I can’t breathe,” Iwaizumi said, tapping Oikawa at the back. Oikawa let go of him. He still held Iwaizumi’s two arms, as if making sure he was there._

_“You really can’t believe I came, huh?” Iwaizumi said, jokingly. OIkawa finally lets go of Iwaizumi’s body._

_“In case it slipped your mind, we haven’t seen each other in person IN A MONTH.” he almost shouted the last part. Iwaizumi motioned a “shh” gesture as people started to look at them._

_“Really? It was already a month?” Iwaizumi said, acting surprised. “That’s right, Iwa-chan. Hmp!” Oikawa pouted._

_“Aww…” Iwaizumi patted Oikawa’s head. Oikawa looked at his partner’s face. Maybe it’s because of the excitement earlier that he did not notice how EXHAUSTED his boyfriend was. The bags under his eyes are so much darker than the last time they faced time. Face looked thinner, his skin looked paler. He looked like he aged 5 years._

_“C’mon inside now,” Iwaizumi reached for Oikawa’s hand and started walking towards the gym. “I’m excited to watch you win this game.” He said proudly, which made Oikawa smile._

_But he wasn’t able to watch him win._

_Because he wasn’t there, and they lost. Iwaizumi was no longer there when the game ended. He left at the half of the second set. Oikawa looked at the bleachers for him and did not find him there. He wanted to check his phone badly to know where his boyfriend went, but the coach forbade it. So he continued playing._

_It happened at the half of the third set. It was Oikawa’s serve, and he had already jumped, positioning his hand to meet the ball and lead it to whichever direction he wanted it to land. Only his hand hit the ball, but it didn’t land to where he wanted because there was a snap the moment his hand hit the ball. Next thing he knew, he was on the floor, crying because of pain._

_He’s broken his wrist. The game was paused and Oikawa was lead out of the game. He was brought to the nearest hospital._

_Because of the pain, he was given strong pain meds, so strong that he woke up 1 day after the competition. His parents and sister, as well has his nephew, were all in the room with him. Apparently, he needed surgery because it wasn’t just a simple broken bone._

_“I’m sorry, Oikawa-kun, but due to your injury, some nerves in your wrist and hands were affected. I’m afraid I have to advise you to rest from playing volleyball for a year. Although, to set your expectation, we are not confident that you will be able to have the same feeling in your hand as you did before. We’ll see how your hand heals resting.”_

_The doctor dropped the news on him like a bomb. At first, he couldn’t react due to the shock. After a few minutes when the doctor left, he cried. He cried hard. His mother sat beside him and tried her best to comfort him. She hugged him, and he hugged her back. He didn’t know what to do, literally. He knew nothing else apart from volleyball, and now, there’s no certainty if he will be able to ever play volleyball again._

_He cried until he passed out that day. When he woke up, it was already nighttime and Iwaizumi was on his bedside sleeping, his family nowhere to be found._

_He stirred, which awoke Iwaizumi._

_“Hey,” his boyfriend greeted. The lights were off so it was dark, the only source of light was a small lampshade near his bed._

_“How are you feeling?” Iwaizumi asked, rubbing Oikawa’s forearm._

_“ ‘mkay” he responded groggily._

_“I heard what happened,” his boyfriend said sadly._

_All of a sudden, the day of the tournament came back to his memories rapidly. He remembered how they were getting the upper hand of the game at second set, and they just needed to win the third to get into the nationals. He remembered looking at the bleachers, only finding his boyfriend not around._

_“_ **_Heard…_ ** _” Oikawa said coldly._

_“What, baby?” Iwaizumi leaned in, making sure he hears his boyfriend._

_“You said you_ **_heard_ ** _what happened… you were there right? Why didn’t you_ **_see_ ** _it?” Oikawa wanted to ask innocently but anger’s already evident in his tone._

_“I--” Iwaizumi started explaining._

_“You said you freed your schedule. You said you’d see the game to the end.” Oikawa hitched. He was having a hard time holding back his tears. “You promised.” He said this in the littlest way possible before the waterworks bursted._

_Iwaizumi was speechless. He tried looking for words to explain. “Tooru, I am so sorry. There was an accident in Tokyo, and they needed more help--”_

_“Bullshit!” Oikawa almost shouted. “So what? So are they more important than me? Than us?” Oikawa really didn’t mean to say that, though. Of course, lives of many is more important than a stupid volleyball game._

_“Tooru,” Iwaizumi said, a bit shocked, “I’m so sorry. I know that game really meant a lot to you…”_

_“See? You_ **_know_ , **_so why? Why didn’t you see it to the end? Why didn’t you stay there? Why didn’t you spare me some of your time?” Oikawa continued crying, he could feel a heavy weight setting in his chest._

_Iwaizumi’s face fell. He looked more than just guilty. He looked...sad. That angered Oikawa further._

_“Tooru,” Iwaizumi said with a sad tone._

_“Don’t do that,” Oikawa said. “Don’t give me the “my job is to save lives” bullshit. I’ve had enough of that!” He was shouting. He didn’t care. “You fucking promised me. This was the first time in months that we’d seen each other. And you couldn’t even give me your whole day? And where were you when I first woke up? YOU WEREN’T EVEN HERE! When the doctor told me I might never be able to play volleyball again, YOU WEREN’T HERE! You were busy nursing other people while your own boyfriend,” he paused, “your bestfriend lay in a hospital bed needing of your nursing.”_

_Oikawa cried so much. He knew that whatever words he said, he didn’t mean it. Or maybe he did, but he didn’t want it to come across like how it did. Or maybe these are all the emotions of the past year finally exploding…?_

_Iwaizumi stood there, shock, sadness, and maybe disappointment painted across his face. He will never forget that look on his face. Aside from the expression, he noticed that his looks had gotten worse than the last time he saw him._

_But it was no time for him to feel pity towards his...friend._

_“Tooru, I’m really sorry.” Iwaizumi finally said. Oikawa thinks he can’t really say anything else aside from that._

_“Hajime,” Oikawa’s eyes are already hurting from producing so much tears, but he didn’t know he could actually produce more. “I’m so tired of this.”_

_“What do you mean?” Iwaizumi asked._

_“I don’t think this is healthy for us,” Oikawa sobbed._

_“Oh, please, Tooru no… please, no.” Iwaizumi tried to hold his arm, since his hand is still bandaged. He yanked it away._

_“I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want this anymore.” he said, wiping his tears._

_“Tooru…” he faced away from Iwaizumi but he knows that Iwaizumi had started crying too._

_“Hajime,” Oikawa said, “I think it’s best if you leave.”_

_“Tooru, please, don’t do this…” Iwaizumi’s crying as he pleads._

_Oikawa didn’t say anything. He only moved his body to face the other side of the room._

_“Please don’t…” Iwaizumi pleads once more, but Oikawa didn’t respond at all._

_They both cried for a few more minutes, Iwaizumi still refusing to leave. But after a while, he stood up._

_“Tooru, I love you. That still hasn’t changed. And I am sure you still love me. We’re just both tired. We’re both burnt out. The important thing is we still love each other…” Iwaizumi said in between sobs._

_“But you know,” Oikawa responded after a few seconds, “love isn’t enough.”_

_Iwaizumi went silent for a moment. Then, hesitatingly, he turned around and headed towards the door._

_“I will try.” Iwaizumi says before he turns the doorknob. “I will try to win you back. I’ll come again tomorrow.” Iwaizumi left._

_Oikawa cried himself to sleep that night._

_Iwaizumi was true to his words, but Oikawa did not receive him. For a week, Iwaizumi tried to talk to him and tried all forms of communication, but Oikawa never responded._

_After that week, Iwaizumi stopped._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That is one long flashback! But I do hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people came over...

Iwaizumi was awakened by his doorbell ringing. His first instinct was to reach out to his phone. It was already 7pm. 

He stood up from his bed to open the door. 

“Who is it?” he asked, just to make sure.

“It’s Suga.” the guest answered.

He unlocked the door and let the other man come in, when a hand stopped him from fully closing the door. Is it the hand-stopping-door-day today?

“Wait a second, Iwa-chan!”

He froze at the name, and then forcibly opened the door, making the man at the other side of the door yelp in surprise.

It was Hanamaki.

“Geez, Iwaizumi! I almost fell there!” the pink haired guy complained. He looked at Iwaizumi’s shocked and confused face. He grinned, “Were you expecting somebody else, _Iwa-chan_?” he teased.

“Stop that. It’s not funny.” Iwaizumi composed himself and helped Hanamaki with the paper bags he was carrying. 

“Yeah, right. You haven’t heard that name for 6 years… or at least from **_him._ **” he continued teasing. 

“Makki, one more word and I will throw you through the balcony.” Iwaizumi said emotionless.

“Gee, someone’s having a bad day.” Hanamaki said, but immediately stopped the teasing. Iwaizumi sighed deep and loud. 

“Hey, seriously. Are you okay? You seem tired, sick even.” Sugawara stopped taking out the food they brought and looked at his friend’s face.

They met at the internship at the hospital. They were both surprised to see each other when the chief of the hospital gathered them around. Coming from the same prefecture was one thing, but meeting someone they played against in high school, with a sport they no longer play was beyond coincidence. That's what Iwaizumi thought.

As for Hanamaki, he pursued nursing. He was already working as a nurse when Iwaizumi and Sugawara interned in the same hospital. He was one of the few witnesses of Iwaizumi’s struggles during his nursing years to his internship days, except, of course, during the time when Iwaizumi completely disappeared. One of the few people who knew what Iwaizumi went through. 

“Nah, I’m fine.” Iwaizumi said, “Just please help me get these things in order. Pleaseeee” he whined. 

“Of course!” Makki said, putting his arm around Iwaizumi’s nape. “That’s the very reason we’re here, remember?”

He took two days off because of his moving. The old apartment he was staying at became less convenient due to the traffic caused by road repairs, and it was already long due for him to move somewhere closer. When the two learned that he was moving, Hanamaki was excited. He wanted to throw a moving party, but Iwaizumi was against it so they just decided to have a small get together and help the other doctor put his things in place. 

“By the way,” Iwaizumi looked at Suga. “Where’s Daichi?” 

“Oh, he won’t make it tonight. He has to stay at the station to finish some paperworks.” Suga answered.

“And Matsukawa?” he turned to Hanamaki. 

“Do you miss him already?” Hanamaki smirked. Iwaizumi made a pissed off face. 

“They have a family dinner tonight.” Hanamaki said. “He said he’d come but he might come late at night.” 

“Dinner’s ready!” Suga announced. They gathered around the kitchen counter and ate their dinner. 

After eating, they talked for a little while, then moved on to fixing Iwaizumi’s things. His things were not that many but he has some furniture he won’t be able to move unless he’s got some help. So Hanamaki and Sugawara helped. Matsukawa came at around 10pm. By that time, they only had some kitchen furniture to put up. They finished at around 12am and decided to have some beer that Matsukawa brought with him. They drank and watched some volleyball replays before they passed out. 

“IWA! IWA!!!” Hanamaki said in rushed whispers the next morning, shaking Iwaizumi awake. Iwaizumi stirred at the noise and responded groggily.

“You won’t believe who I just ran into earlier.” Hanamaki’s volume is still low, but there’s a hint of excitement. By that time, Suga and Matsukawa were already awake as well. 

“What? What’s happening?” Matsukawa said, still half-awake. 

“Unbelievable. Iwaizumi, you have a real big problem here.” Hanamaki laughed.

“What do you mean?” Suga said. All four of them slept at the living room. 

“Oikawa!” Hanamaki said loudly, but not too loud for people outside to hear. 

“What?” Matsukawa said, more awake now. 

“Oikawa’s here! In this same building “ Hanamaki said.

“Oh,” was all what Suga said.

Everyone looked at Iwaizumi, who didn’t look surprised at all. 

“And guess what? He lives in the room opposite of yours.” Hanamaki continued.

“Wait, what?” It was Iwaizumi's turn to be surprised.

“So you already know he’s here?” Matsukawa asked Iwaizumi.

“Well,” Iwaizumi started, “I met him yesterday at the elevator. He had some groceries with him.”

“Oooooohhhhh…” Hanamaki teased. “Soooo… you knew he lives next door?”

“That,” Iwaizumi stood up. “That, I didn’t know.”

“Oof,” Matsukawa and Hanamaki said at the same time.

All four of them, including Oikawa of course, went to the same high school. They remained close friends until college. They met occasionally for drinks and all, but when Oikawa and Iwaizumi broke up, they were left in an awkward situation. Good thing college kept them busy and they had reasons not to meet. But Hanamaki and Matsukawa were the ones who kept Oikawa company when he fell into a deep depressive hole after the incident along with their breakup. Iwaizumi couldn’t thank them enough for doing that, despite their busy schedules. He may not be there for Oikawa, but at least he had the two.

“He invited me in when he saw me at the mart. I was buying us breakfast, you see." he pointed at the white plastic bags on the kitchen counter. " We had a little chat.” Hanamaki smirked. The three guests positioned themselves at the dining table that they assembled last night. Iwaizumi started preparing the breakfast that Hanamaki bought.

“I just can’t believe it.” The nurse exclaimed. “Of all buildings, he lives here. And of all the apartments in this building, he lives NEXT TO YOU.” He said laughing.

Iwaizumi got used to Hanamaki mocking his situation with Oikawa. At first, he was very sensitive about it that he’d even get into fights with the pink haired guy, but later on, he knew that Hanamaki was doing that for his own sake. Although, it gets irritating most of the time.

“Yeah, yeah. Can we just eat breakfast?” Iwaizumi said, setting 4 cups of coffee, and sandwiches down on the table. He sat with the other three in silence. He has the same thoughts.

‘ _What the fuck? Next door?!?!?! I mean, it’s okay. It’s gonna be fine. We’ll just have to keep running on each other, one day we might run into each other’s door, oh I don’t know. Fuck this shit!’_

“Does he know you live next to him?” Suga asked, bringing him back to reality.

“Oh, uhm, I don’t really know.” Iwaizumi said. “He didn’t come out of the elevator when I came out yesterday so…”

“Mmmm…” Suga hummed. “So he didn’t want you to know where he lives?” 

“I don’t know,” Iwaizumi said, unable to hide the disappointment in his tone. “Probably.”

“I’m actually a bit disappointed,” Matsukawa said. “I mean, this is our first time here in this building, and Oikawa lives here.”

“Your point being?” Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow. 

“He never invited us here.” Matsukawa said. “He never mentioned where he’d be moving when he informed us last month.”

“Maybe he also didn’t want you to know,” Suga said. “Because he knows you’ll tell Iwaizumi. Maybe he moved so he can be somewhere Iwaizumi wouldn’t know.”

Suga’s got a point though. After graduating college, Oikawa went back to Miyagi and lived with his parents. According to Matsukawa and Hanamaki, he worked as a coach at Aoba Johsai. They didn’t have news about his career in the previous months since all of them were busy with their jobs, and only learnt that he moved when Hanamaki called Oikawa residence for an inquiry last month. He immediately called Oikawa after getting his contact number from his sister. The other guy apologized for not informing them and only promised to call them after he’s settled in. It was only until now that Hanamaki finally knew and saw Oikawa’s place. 

Iwaizumi just shrugged and sipped his coffee silently. 

They stayed at Iwaizumi’s place until dinner time and bid each other goodbye after eating yet another fast food take out. They all have jobs tomorrow after all. 

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” Sugawara said, as Iwaizumi leads him towards the door.

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Iwaizumi said. The other couple were already at the elevator. They gave him one last teasing look and gestured at Oikawa’s door, then at him, before the elevator doors opened and Suga pushed them both inside. 

When he saw the elevator doors closed, he looked at the door opposite to him.

_Is he inside?_

_Does he really live there?_

He took one step forward towards the other door. He shook his head, took a step back and went inside his apartment. 

_____________________

_Shit!_

That was the only thing that went through Oikawa’s head as he closed his door when Hanamaki entered his apartment.

_Now_ **_he’ll_ ** _know where I live._ He thought. Not that he’s hiding it though. He just didn’t expect it to be so soon. 

“You never told us where you moved into, Oikawa.” Hanamaki faced him with a pout. He laughed nervously, his hand rubbing his nape. 

“Well…” he said awkwardly, “I was really meaning to… but I got too busy. Sorry, Makki.”

“Nah, that’s okay.” Hanamaki said. “I understand. I mean, it might be tiring looking for a job…” 

“Would you like some coffee?” Oikawa offered. “No, it’s okay.” Hanamaki answered. 

“So, how have you been?” Hanamaki asked, sitting at the sofa.

“You know me, Makki,” Oikawa said airily. “I adapt quickly.” Hanamaki laughed. 

“You never change, Oikawa.” he noted. 

“Actually,” Oikawa sat beside Hanamaki, “the reason I moved is because my previous university’s volleyball team coach just retired. They wanted me to replace him.” he said.

“Oh, so that’s why…Nice!” Hanamaki said with a smirk.

“And this,” Oikawa gestured at his apartment “is part of the offer.”

“Ooohhh…” Hanamaki looked around. “Not bad!”

“I know right?” Oikawa said excitedly. “I love it!”

They fell silent for a moment. “Hey,” Hanamaki broke the silence. “Did you know--”

“Iwaizumi’s next door.” Oikawa interrupted. “That’s what you’ll say right?”

“Well,” Hanamaki faced him, “I was about to say ‘Did you know Matsukawa got promoted’ but go on. I’m more interested in what you wanted to say now.” He said teasingly. 

“Oh,” Oikawa’s face went violently red. 

“How did you know?” Hanamaki’s smirk is still plastered on his face.

Oikawa averted his gaze from Hanamaki to the floor. “W-well, I saw him enter the door opposite to mine…”

“When?” Hanamaki prodded.

“Yesterday. We met at the elevator.” Oikawa said, out of characteristically shy.

“You stalking him?” Hanamaki continued teasing.

“The fuck Makki?!” Oikawa went aggressively defensive. “No!”

Hanamaki laughed. “Dude, I was just teasing you!” He continued laughing. 

“But seriously speaking, I can’t believe it.” Hanamaki said, recovering from his laugh. “You haven’t seen each other in 6 years, and now you live next to each other?” He chuckled. “Man, destiny’s cruel!”

“Yeah…” Oikawa said silently. “It is cruel.”

“How do you feel about it though?” Hanamaki asked, with a more serious tone. 

“Well,” Oikawa fiddled with the throw pillow. “It’s not like I can actually shoo him away or anything…” he chuckled lightly. “And it’s not that he can shoo ME away either.” He fell silent for a moment.

“Well, I guess you’d have to face what you’ve been running from for the last six years.” Hanamaki patted him at the back. 

Hanamaki stayed for a little longer and decided he’d go. “Have I mentioned that we’re staying at Iwaizumi’s?” 

“Makki, I have common sense.” Oikawa said with a straight face. 

"Right," Hanamaki laughed. He waved him goodbye, then left.

_Ugh!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa's curious. Iwaizumi's exhausted.

Although the thought of bumping into each other more often made both Oikawa and Iwaizumi anxious, it never really happened when the week passed by. 

Maybe it’s because on weekdays, both of them go out early since Oikawa works in a university while Iwaizumi rarely goes home and when he does, he gets there at 4am and leaves at 8am. Meaning to say, their schedule didn’t allow an unexpected meeting of the two. 

Oikawa’s grateful for that, but to say that he wasn’t disappointed would be a lie. The next day of Hanamaki’s visit, he did nothing but to think about what happened between him and Iwaizumi, and he always ended up with the thought, _Why did he stop? Where had he been these past 6 years?_

After the breakup, Oikawa was really in a bad place, mentally. He had a broken wrist, a broken career, and a broken heart. When Iwaizumi said he will be back, he was true to his words. But Oikawa wasn’t ready. He couldn’t face Iwaizumi so broken. He continued to do so for the whole week, and Oikawa continued to hide. Until Iwaizumi stopped coming. At first, he thought that’s for the better. But when Iwaizumi did not contact or reached out to him after a month, that’s when it dawned on him that he’s given up.

His boyfriend and best friend gave up on him. 

The sadness immediately turned into anger. _Why? How can he give up so easily?_

It was a good thing that Matsukawa and Hanamaki kept him company. They were at his house in Miyagi for almost everyday. The university gave him an authorized leave of absence for his healing, and that whole month, he did nothing but mope and cry to his two closest friends. 

Of course the two didn’t stop being Iwaizumi’s friend, but they never really brought him up. When he recovered, he went back to Tokyo to finish his studies. He became an irregular student due to his injury but nevertheless, he was able to graduate. He celebrated his graduation with Hanamaki and Matsukawa, and the rest of the Seijoh team. They had fun all night long and it was one of the best nights for Oikawa. 

But no one mentioned anything about Iwaizumi. 

“Hey Mattsun,” he said one random day.

“Yeah?” answered Matsukawa. He was at the Matsukawa’s, keeping his friend company. 

“Uhm…” he hesitated, “Do you have any news about Iwa-ch--Iwaizumi?”

Matsukawa looked at him with a shocked expression. Clearly he didn’t expect his friend to ask him that. There was a moment of silence.

“Nevermi--” Oikawa started.

“Actually,” Matsukawa answered. “We stopped hearing from him 6 months ago.” he said, a hint of sadness in his tone. 

“Oh,” Oikawa made a confused face, but immediately looked away. 

That was the last time he ever asked about Iwaizumi, and the last conversation he had about him.

And now, six years later, they live next to each other.

He completely denies that he wants to catch up with his...acquaintance, but he doesn’t deny that he is SUPER curious about it. It bothered him the whole day.

_‘Ugh, you can’t do this! You can’t just come back and take over my life like this!’_

\------------------------------------------------

Iwaizumi, like any other day, is exhausted. 

His concept of time is completely ruined and he doesn’t even know which day of the week it is already. He just finished his rounds and completed his charts. He cannot wait to graduate from his fellowship and become an attending.

He looked at his phone and noticed that it’s only 8PM. He also noticed that he has a text message from Dr. Hirose. 

**Please come to my office.**

He felt anxious, like any other human being who would read such a message from their superior. He went to the elevator and pressed on the floor where Dr. Hirose’s office is located. Another doctor entered the elevator and pressed a different button. 

“Dr. Iwaizumi,” the other doctor greeted him. He looked up and noticed that it was Tsukishima, one of their interns in Neurology. 

“Oh, Tsukishima,” he greeted back. 

“You should rest.” Tsukishima said, “you look really awful.”

He chuckled at that. The elevator doors dinged and he went out of the elevator. “I’ll see you around.” he said as he tapped the intern on the shoulder. 

“I hope not.” Tsukishima said. At first, he was taken aback then got angry. But when the elevator doors closed, he saw his reflection and realized what the intern actually meant. 

He sighed and walked towards Dr. Hirose’s office. He knocked on the door.

“Come in” the chief doctor said.

“You called for me?” 

“Ah, yes. Take the weekends off. We have Dr. Akaashi and Dr. Suga on duty tomorrow, as well as all the interns.” the chief said with a smile.

“Oh, but--” Iwaizumi started to protest.

“In case you didn’t understand,” the chief looked at the fellow in the eyes. “We won’t be needing you on the weekends.”

Honestly speaking, that hurt. 

“What you need though,” the chief stood up and walked towards him, “is a good rest.”

As a doctor, he knows how important rest is. Especially at his state. “Go home, Dr. Iwaizumi.”

“Alright.” he conceded. He turned around and greeted the chief doctor goodbye before going to the changing quarters and changed back to his normal clothes.

As soon as he stepped out of the hospital, he felt all the work he’s done in the past week weigh on him. He took a cab and told the driver his address, then slept all the way to his building. 

“Sir,” the driver called out to him when they arrived at the front of their building. He didn’t budge. 

“Sir!” the driver said a little more loudly this time. He jolted awake at the sound. 

“We’re here.” 

“Oh, thank you. Here,” he handed money to the cab driver, “keep the change.”

He gathered his things then went out of the cab. He dragged himself inside the building and as if on auto-pilot, led himself to the elevator. 

All the exhaustion he felt was replaced with shock when he saw Oikawa by the elevator. He suddenly felt so awake, the anxiety he felt at the beginning of the week coming back to him all at once. _Do I dodge him?_ But it was too late since Oikawa noticed him already and there’s no point in hiding now. He stood next to the taller guy. He’s dressed in a windbreaker and jogging pants. He has an iPod and airpods on his hand, giving him the idea that the man went jogging. 

There was a heavy awkward silence until the elevator dinged. He let Oikawa step inside first. He pressed the 10 button in the elevator. 

The heavy awkward silence is back, as well as his exhaustion. He leaned his body against the elevator wall and closed his eyes. 

“You look awful.” 

He slowly opened his eyes and looked up to his and the taller man’s reflection in the elevator doors.

Oikawa was looking at him through the door, he couldn’t quite understand the expression in his face. _Is that worry?_

“Heh, I just had a several night shifts.” he said.

The other man didn’t respond. Silence.

“Oikawa,”

“Iwaizumi,”

They looked at each other through the elevator doors again. 

“You first,” Iwaizumi said.

There was silence for a few seconds until Oikawa said,

“Where have you been?”

Iwaizumi was confused, “uhm, the hospital?” unsure if it was the right answer. 

Oikawa chuckled sarcastically. The elevator dinged and the doors opened. 

“You know what I mean,” Oikawa looked at the floor “but if you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine.” Then, he stepped out of the elevator. 

_Where have I been?_

He stepped out of the elevator as well. He saw Oikawa walking toward the direction of their apartments. He stopped at his door, while Oikawa stopped at his. 

“You know,” Iwaizumi said before he twisted his door knob. “I didn’t really leave.”

He heard Oikawa’s keys stopped from making a sound. “What do you mean?” 

“I didn’t leave.” he repeated, “You asked me to leave.”

He twisted the door knob and went inside his apartment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so obviously this fic was just made out of a whim and the result of drinking coffee at 7PM. If you will notice, my characters and tags aren't really final yet but I promise, I'll get there. LOL
> 
> Anyways, enjoy this chapter first! Mwah!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi's side of the story.

_The score was 15-18._

_Oikawa’s team has the upper hand. Iwaizumi kept on praying that they get to 20 first. Although, knowing his boyfriend, he will make sure of it._

_Seeing Oikawa play volleyball makes him miss the old days when the both of them would simply play ball, until they got into middle school and high school, where they both played volleyball together._

_Oikawa looks beautiful. He looks so beautiful when he jumps, sets, spikes. He still looks beautiful even when his face gets scrunched up when he serves. He’s still beautiful when he gathers his team around to celebrate their score._

_He looks beautiful in everything he does. Iwaizumi smiled, and he thought to himself,_ **_“That’s my boyfriend.”_ **

_He felt his phone vibrate. It was Shimada calling. He answered it._

_“Hello?!” He half shouted. The noise of the crowd in the court was too overpowering. “Hey, I can’t hear you right now, give me a sec.” He stood up and went outside the court._

_“Hey Shimada,” he said when he got out. “What’s the matter?”_

_“Hey man, I know you worked extra this week to have today off,” Shimada said hurriedly. He doesn’t like where this is going. “but there’s been an accident here in Tokyo and it’s really bad. We badly need more people.” his friend is clearly out of breath. He could hear the background noise. The siren is deafening. Shimada may be near the entrance of the ER._

_“But dude--” he was about to protest when he heard someone from the background noise said, “Kunimi Akira...Another student from the school bus involved in the accident.”_

_Iwaizumi’s eyes widened in shock. No. It can’t possibly be. He felt his mouth dry up, his heart beat fast, his hands sweating._

_“Hey Iwa, are you still there?” Shimada half shouted through the phone._

_“Yeah,” Iwaizumi mustered. “Hey, what’s going on? I heard one patient was a student?” he had to make sure._

_“Yeah. Actually, there’s a lot of students here. It looks like a team. Not sure which sport. But their jackets say their from Aoba...jousei…? I’m not sure.”_

_Iwaizumi’s hand fell. His mind went blank. He stopped the nearest cab and told him to bring him to Tokyo Medical and Dental University Hospital. He was anxious throughout the drive to Tokyo._

_When he got there, the hospital was a mess. He immediately dropped his bag at the nurse station, and went to the Emergency Room. He looked around and saw familiar faces. One of them was of Kindaichi’s._

_“Kindaichi!” he shouted and the other guy was startled._

_“Iwaizumi-san?”_

_“What happened?” Iwaizumi asked. He went towards the younger man to check his injuries. He had wound on his forehead, some scratches on his right arm, and his left hand is put on a cast._

_“How did this happen?” Iwaizumi asked once more._

_“We were on our way for a practice match with Fukurodani,” Kindaichi started. He clearly looks shaken up. “Then I don’t know what happened but next thing I know is that our bus fell down and cars kept on bumping on our bus.”_

_Iwaizumi gulped, swallowing his anxiety and fear of what might’ve happened to his junior’s teammates._

_“What about you, Iwaizumi-san? How did you know about what happened?” Kindaichi asked curiously._

_“I’m an intern nurse here.” he answered abruptly. “How’re you feeling? Do you feel dizzy?”_

_“Not really. My whole body aches though.” Kindaichi replied. “Do you know what happened to the rest of the team?” He added._

_“I haven’t checked on them yet.” Iwaizumi said, “Do you have any known medicine allergies?” he asked the younger man._

_“No, not really.” Kindaichi replied. Iwaizumi handed him a pain reliever medication. “Here, take this. It’s just an ibuprofen, it might help you with the pain. I’ll make sure to update you about what happened to the rest of the team. Stay here until your parents or guardians arrive.”_

_He left after that. There were so many patients in the ER that he couldn’t decide which doctor to assist, or what to do first. He’s also high on adrenaline so he just came to whoever asked for help._

_Apparently, Aoba Jousai’s bus driver had a heart attack and died on the spot, which led the bus to swerve and cause the road accident. Fortunately, none of the team were severely injured. Some just had big bruises, fractured arms or ribs, and some had concussions but not so severe that they needed surgery._

_They cleared the ER by 10pm, some were sent to wards and rooms. For the first time that day, Iwaizumi sat down. He sat by the nurse’s station. He was running around high on adrenaline that he didn’t notice the time and that he missed all the meals of the day. He felt hungry but he also felt like puking._

_He reached for his bag, and fished his phone out. He tried to turn it on but apparently it’s empty battery. He put it down and stood up, feeling a huge wave of dizziness as he did so. He managed to balance himself. He shook his head, trying to get rid of the dizziness and…_

_And then he was falling._

_“Iwa!” somebody shouted before he fully lost consciousness._

_He didn’t know what happened, but when he woke up, Shimada scolded him. He said he fell unconscious and that that was the first time he woke up after 26 hours._

_26 hours?!?!?!_

_“You really scared me, man!” Shimada said. “I thought you’re going to die. You were so lifeless when I saw you on the floor!” he scolded the other guy. “Dude, you really gotta take care of yourself! You were severely dehydrated and all of your vitals were just **l o w**! What the heck?! And I’m guessing you never had a bat’s eye of sleep before you passed out!” Shimada rambled. _

_Iwaizumi was busy trying to turn on his phone. Shit!_

_“Hey do you have a charger?” he said, urgency evident in his voice. “I need it badly.”_

_“Yeah, wait a sec.” Shimada said. “I’ll be back, I’ll just get it.” Shimada left the room._

_A few minutes later, Shimada came back with a charger. He charged his phone and turned it on. Notifications popped up continuously._

_But there wasn’t a single message from Oikawa._

_He felt his heart break a little. Anxiety and sadness mixed together in his heart. As he scrolled through the notifications, he saw one message that caught his attention._

**_Hajime-kun, Tooru was brought to the hospital._ **

_That was all he needed to read before he removed the IV line connected to his inner forearm, and rushed out of the hospital._

_As he ran out of the hospital, he read more of Oikawa’s sister’s messages._

**_He broke his wrist during a game and he had to undergo surgery. He’s currently at the recovery room, still sleeping. We’re at the Sendai City Hospital._ **

_Iwaizumi felt like crying. He felt bad. For not being able to be around his boyfriend when he got injured. For not being able to watch the game. For not being able to be there when he wakes up, or when he woke up._

_He immediately ran to the nurse’s station to ask which room Oikawa was staying. When he entered the room, Oikawa’s mom was the only one there._

_“Oh, hi Hajime-kun,” she greeted him._

_“Hi auntie.” Iwaizumi greeted back. “How is he?” he asked worriedly._

_“He fell asleep a few hours ago. The doctor told him some really bad news.” Oikawa’s mom sounded awfully sad._

_“He might never be able to play volleyball again.”_

_Iwaizumi felt the world crash._

_He didn’t respond to whatever he just heard, he just walked towards his boyfriend’s bed and sat on the chair situated beside it. He had a good look of his boyfriend’s state. His right hand is casted and bandaged, and his face looked so peaceful sleeping._

_He felt a hand land on his shoulder. “I’ll be going home first. I need to fetch some things for Tooru. Will it be okay if I left you with him?”_

_Iwaizumi just nodded slowly. He heard the door open and closed._

_Later on, he realized, it wasn’t okay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a Libra, I needed to let you know both sides of the story. haha I hope you enjoy this!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: anorexia, depression, and a lot of crying.
> 
> Confrontations, confrontations, confrontations.

Iwaizumi dropped his keys on the table in his living room and laid down on his sofa. He closed his eyes when a really loud knock on his door made them open back up. 

He didn’t do anything, thinking it was just the fatigue making him hear things. 

But then it happened again. He stood up, walked to the door and twisted the knob.

“Who is--”

“What do you mean I asked you to leave?!”

Oikawa’s face is angry. His voice was loud. 

“Shh!” Iwaizumi shushed the taller guy and pulled him inside his apartment. 

“What the--”

“Did you really think I wanted you to leave?!” the taller man almost shouted. 

Iwaizumi didn’t respond. He looked Oikawa in the eyes, then walked towards his living room. 

“I didn’t know it would only take one time of me expressing my exhaustion of our situation for you to leave.” Oikawa laughed sarcastically. “It was just the only time I expressed what I truly felt,” Oikawa’s trying his best not to cry. 

“But it wasn’t just once!” Iwaizumi snapped back. “I tried to talk to you after that night. I tried to reach out to you. It was you who shut me out!” Iwaizumi’s face is turning red because of anger. 

“I wasn’t ready!” Oikawa shouted back. “I couldn’t face you. Not after what happened to me. Not after what I said!” They were both breathing heavily. “Not after I lost the one good thing about me.” Oikawa said softly. 

Iwaizumi looked at him, “Did you really think I won’t forgive you? Did you really think I won’t accept you as you are? I loved you way too much to care about other things.”

“But you did,” Oikawa’s crying now. “You **cared** more about other things. I tried to be patient, I tried to be understanding. But every time I don’t see your message, every time you say you can’t make it at the last minute, every time you sleep on me during our only time to communicate, my patience gets smaller and smaller.” Oikawa sobbed.

“I wanted to understand you so bad, but I was losing myself in doing so. I’m human too.” Oikawa said.

“And when I needed you badly,” Oikawa continued, “you didn’t even try hard.” 

Iwaizumi was silent. There’s so many emotions he’s feeling at the moment. 

“But Tooru,” Iwaizumi started calmly, “It wasn’t just you going through that. I didn’t like it too. I beat myself every time I had to cancel. I feel bad waking up to your delivered messages. I tried, Tooru, I tried. Did you think I liked what I was doing to you? I wanted to make it up to you so badly. That’s why I made sure I will be there on your finals game.”

“But you couldn’t even finish it!” Oikawa snapped back. “You couldn’t even spare time to see your boyfriend’s game until its end.”

Iwaizumi didn’t say anything. “I told you,” he said after a while, his voice so little, “I told you there was an emergency--”

“Oh yes,” Oikawa interjected. “yes, there was! It was your boyfriend’s hand breaking after a failed serve!”

At that point, Iwaizumi’s heart is breaking. But he couldn’t cry. Sometimes, he wishes he’s just like Oikawa who could easily express his emotions; get angry when he’s mad, laugh loudly when he’s happy, and cry ugly when he’s sad. 

When Iwaizumi didn’t respond, Oikawa angrily wiped his tears away, composed himself and said, 

“This conversation’s senseless. I think it’s best if we never meet or talk about this again.”

Iwaizumi still didn’t respond.

“We’re just too broken to be put together again.” With that, Oikawa left. 

Iwaizumi let his body fall on the sofa again, his forearm against his forehead.

He won’t deny whatever Oikawa just told him on his face. He lacked a lot as his boyfriend. 

That’s why when Oikawa said he wanted to breakup, he cut classes just to wait for Oikawa to let him talk to him. He didn’t care about his scholarship. He didn’t care about his grades. Oikawa’s more important. 

But Oikawa never let him in. 

When he realized that Oikawa’s decision was final, he went back to Tokyo. There, he faced the load of work for the whole week that he did not attend his classes. He even had to beg to some professors just to let him take whatever exams he missed. He didn’t sleep, he didn’t eat, he didn’t even drink water. He was too busy catching up and he felt like he didn’t deserve it. He ignored his phone and did not even charge it when the battery went empty. 

It was three days after when he realized what he did with his body was very bad. It was Shimada who took notice of his continuous absence in the cafeteria of the dormitory for the seventh night in a row. His friend went to his dorm and when no one responded to his knocks, he decided to call the guards and report the situation. They forcibly opened the door, and there they found a passed out Iwaizumi, no one knows how long, but Shimada said he was burning with a fever and his heart rate was alarmingly low. When they arrived at the ER, his blood pressure was 80/50. The doctors said his body shut down that’s why he was asleep for 3 days. He stayed in the hospital for ten days. He was forced to regain the nutrition he lost or his body will fail him. 

He believes that was the first time he ever saw Shimada cry. He would later on tease his friend for it. 

His parents also went to Tokyo to take care of him. He was still sleeping when they came in, and it was his mother’s crying face that he saw first after waking up. His parents hugged him tightly when they saw him finally awake. Hanamaki and Matsukawa also dropped by to visit. The 2 were on the verge of tears when he saw them. They said that Shimada informed Hanamaki of what happened, since Shimada learnt about Hanamaki and Iwaizumi’s relationship as friends from his girlfriend, who was interning with Hanamaki. 

They immediately went to the hospital the moment they heard the news, but they were met with a sleeping Iwaizumi. He apologized, but when Matsukawa asked what really happened to him, he couldn’t hide it anymore. He knew his two friends already knows. So he told them. He cried and told them of EVERYTHING that happened. 

On his last night in the hospital, Dr. Hisashi, his professor, suggested that he go to his friend from the psychiatry department. At first, the idea seemed absurd; offensive even. But both Dr. Hisashi and he knows it really isn’t a choice, but a must. 

So he did. 

It wasn’t an easy journey. He didn’t have it easy, if that’s what Oikawa thought. 

But he’s too tired to go over to Oikawa’s and explain that. 

Right now, all he wants to do is sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit short. Hope you liked it tho.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some conversation with the wise Matsukawa and Hanamaki.

“So basically,” Matsukawa puts down the cup of coffee Oikawa gave him. “You’re telling me you wanted an explanation. But instead, you ended up ranting away your own feelings.”

Oikawa, who was seated beside Matsukawa at the dining table, nodded shyly. He was still shaken by what transpired the other night. 

“Hmm… do you want my opinion about this matter?” Matsukawa asked.

Oikawa nodded slowly. 

“If you had any desire to try to get back with him, forget about it now.”

“Mattsun, I already forgot about that 6 years ago.” Oikawa scoffed. He sipped his now lukewarm coffee. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Matsukawa said. “Although, for me, I really can’t just brush off the fact that you ran over to his apartment and demanded an explanation. Sounds to me, like, you’re curious.”

Oikawa blushed a little bit, but his face is of shock. “I told you, I was aggravated with what he said!”

“I know, but if you really didn’t care anymore, you could’ve just let it go, right?” Matsukawa said as a matter of factly. “But then, there you were, stomping over his apartment, raging with anger.” 

Oikawa fell silent. “Give the man a break,” Matsukawa continued. “Iwaizumi is naturally a closed person, unlike you. He might have suffered the same way as you, but unlike you, he hid it all these 6 years.”

Oikawa looked at Matsukawa, “You’re the one who kept in contact with him,” Oikawa said. “So you probably know.”

“Dude,” Matsukawa said, “if Iwaizumi’s life drama is what you’re after, Makki’s the best choice to have a conversation with.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” Oikawa said. “I don’t care anymore anyways.”

“That’s up to you, man.” Matsukawa sipped on his coffee.

“I just think this could be you two’s chance.”

Oikawa sipped his coffee.

\--------------------------------------------------

Iwaizumi forgot that he gave Hanamaki a spare key. 

So when he turned to his side, he opens his eye to a Hanamaki smiling and laying down next to him on his bed.

“Good morning, Iwa-chan!” Hanamaki greeted. “Rise and shine!”

He grunted sleepily, then positioned his hand and leg on top of Hanamaki, like he was hugging a pillow. 

“Ew, Iwa!” Hanamaki protested, but Iwaizumi hugged him tighter, laughing.

“Iwa, Issei’s just next door!” Hanamaki continued pushing him away. “He might see us and think we’re having an affair.”

Iwaizumi laughed hard at that, and then finally let go of Hanamaki. Hanamaki stood up from the bed.

“You gotta get up already. It’s almost lunch time!” He said. He left the room and went to Iwaizumi don’t know where. 

He remained laying down on his bed, memories of last night coming back to him. No matter how tired he was, he couldn’t sleep because it kept on bugging him.

_Why am I like this?_

He got up from his bed and went out of his bedroom. Hanamaki has prepared breakfast for him. 

“Aww…” Iwaizumi said, feeling touched by his friend’s gesture. “Aren’t you on duty today?”

“Nope.” Hanamaki replied as he sat down. Iwaizumi did the same. “I got weekends off this month. I heard it was also your off, so” Hanamaki stood up to pour coffee on Iwaizumi’s cup. 

“I came here to bother you.” he sat back down and smiled at Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi just smiled and put some bacon and eggs on his plate.

“Have you eaten already?” Iwaizumi asked in between bites. 

“Don’t mind me,” Hanamaki said, “I already had breakfast with Issei-babe.”

“Tch.” Iwaizumi remarked bitterly.

“Soooo, what are you up to today?” Hanamaki asked.

“Nothing really,” Iwaizumi spoke as he chews, “Just want to stay home and sleep or something.”

“ _Or something?_ Ooohhh, why don’t you _play_ with neighbor-kun?” Hanamaki teased, his head pointing at the direction of Iwaizumi’s door. 

Iwaizumi looked at the door then looked back down on his food. 

“Hmmm… I’m sensing something,” Hanamaki squinted his eyes. Iwaizumi didn’t look at him.

“Did something happen?” Iwaizumi stayed silent.

“Something DID happen!” Hanamaki exclaimed. “Spill it!” He threw a table napkin at Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi caught the napkin, but remained silent. “Did you have sex?” Hanamaki asked teasingly.

“What the-- NO!” Iwaizumi said defensively. Hanamaki looked disappointed. 

“What happened, then?”

“Nothing,” Iwaizumi continued eating. 

“Don’t lie to me.” Hanamaki said. “You know you _can’t_ lie to me.”

Both of them went silent, then Iwaizumi spoke.

“I kind of let my emotions loose last night,” Iwaizumi started. “Maybe because I’m tired, but I kinda blew off at Oikawa last night.” he explained. 

He looked at his friend and Hanamaki made an “aww” face. 

“I’m proud of you!” Hanamaki said. “At last, you were able to express your feelings, no matter what they are!”

“But it didn’t end well.” Iwaizumi said frustratingly. “It didn’t start well to begin with.”

“I said something horrible, and I think that triggered Oikawa.” Iwaizumi continued. “He was very angry.”

“Ooohhh…” Hanamaki made a hissing sound. “That’s not good. What did you do, then?”

“I got mad as well.” Iwaizumi said as a matter of factly. Hanamaki laughed. 

“Oh well, what am I supposed to expect.” he said.

“I don’t think we can ever hold a proper conversation,” Iwaizumi said sadly. “I mean, after what we said last night, I don’t think we can ever interact nicely to each other after that.”

“I don’t think so.” Hanamaki said, smirking. 

“What are you smiling about?” Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow.

“Well, you wouldn’t be saying that if you’re not hoping for a _proper conversation._ ” Hanamaki answered.

“Were you listening to me? I said it didn’t go well. We might not have another chance...” 

“So you want a chance?” Hanamaki interjected.

“For a proper conversation.” Iwaizumi finished, emphasizing on the word ‘conversation’.

Hanamaki nodded slowly, gesturing agreement. 

“But, you do want a conversation,” Hanamaki said, “Which means you haven’t really given up.” 

Iwaizumi didn’t answer. He just continued eating. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa sees Iwaizumi work.

Iwaizumi’s pager beeped and showed 911, which meant he’s needed in the ER. He quickly walked towards the entrance from the nurse's station. When he came there, there was an ambulance stopping at the front of the entrance. He ran towards the vehicle, and EMT was positioned over the patient lying on the gurney, performing CPR. 

"What do we have?" he asked the EMT. 

"Nagatsuka Ryuu, 75. Heart attack." the EMT said in between compressions and pants. "His neighbor saw him unconscious in his living room. There's no definite time of when he got the attack. We intubated him along the way here. He's in PEA, bp's 80/70, pulse ox 70."

They arrived at one of the ER cubicles. Iwaizumi leads the medical team. "At the count of three," Iwaizumi held one of the four sides of the sheet below the patient, "hold compressions. 1, 2, 3" They lifted the patient from the ambulance gurney to the ER table. He took the role of administering the CPR.

He kept on ordering people around while doing so. Time went by quickly, and in a flash, 2 minutes has already passed. He looked at the EKG monitor, which shows a sinus rhythm, then he checked the patient's neck for a pulse but he didn't find any. He continued CPR.

"Give him 1 miligram of Epi and 1 miligram of adrenaline!" he ordered. The nurses obeyed without protest and immediately took the medications. He looked at the clock: 10:03AM. He stopped giving compressions and checked the EKG, and then for a pulse. 

Nothing. 

He continued CPR.

When he looked at the clock, it was already 10:13. He stopped compressions, checked the EKG, which now shows bradycardia, then for a pulse. 

Still nothing. 

A hand fell on his shoulder. One nurse went over to the patient's head and hovered a flashlight at his eyes.

"Pupils are blown and dilated." the nurse declared. Iwaizumi let out a deep and loud sigh. His shoulders fell. 

"Time of death," Iwaizumi said as looked at the clock, "10:20." he announced. 

The nurses removed all the apparatus connected to the patient he failed to save. He gave some encouraging words to the nurses.

"Hey Inoka," he called to one of the nurses, "can you try and find out if Nagatsuka-san has a family or relative we can talk with so we can inform them of what happened?" he asked the nurse tiredly. The nurse replied with a yes then went on with his task.

He turned around and was surprised with what he saw.

Oikawa was sitting in the ER waiting room. He was looking at him. 

He removed his rubber gloves and threw it to the nearest trash bin. The motion sensor door opened and he went to the direction of the taller man.

"Oikawa?" he called unto the man. Oikawa raised his hand, a small smile plastered on his face.

"What are you doing here?" Iwaizumi asked, sounding more worried than he wanted to be. "Did something happen? Are you hurt?"

Oikawa raised both of his hand and waved them while shaking his head, "No, no, it's not like that." he said politely, which honestly, Iwaizumi finds annoying. 

"It's Kuroo. He fell on his bike on the way to the university and he kind of got his shoulder dislocated so I drove him here." Oikawa explained. 

Iwaizumi sighed in relief, a little too obvious. 

"Suga--" he corrected himself, "I mean, Dr. Suga's treating him right now." Oikawa added when he saw that Iwaizumi's about to ask a follow up question.

"Oh, okay." was all what Iwaizumi said. An awkward silence fell between them. 

"Well," Iwaizumi broke the silence, "I'll see you sometime then." 

He turned around and walked towards the nurse's station.

"Iwaizumi!" Oikawa's voice was loud enough to stop him. He turned around and looked at the taller man, who was already standing up. "Would you like to grab some coffee?" he asked, with an awkward smile on his face.

He looked at his wrist watch. _Maybe I can take a 30 minute break._ he thought.

"Sure." he responded.

\----------------------

When he brought in Kuroo to the Emergency Room, there was a lot of noise. 

He walked up to the nurse's station, "Hi, I have a friend who fell on his bike and I think he has a dislocated shoulder." he informed one of the nurses. "He's in the car right now, and in a lot of pain."

The nurse took out her pager and he thinks she called someone, then she said, "Where's your friend sir? We'll help you get him on a wheel chair."

He lead the nurse, who is now accompanied by two more nurses, one has a wheel chair with him. He opened the door of the passenger seat in his car and was met with the wincing face of Kuroo. He gave his hand to assist and help Kuroo stand up. "It hurts a lot, man." Kuroo said, though his face may be smiling, but pain is quite evident in it as well. 

"Oh well, I guess your bike's gonna miss your butt for a long time." Oikawa kidded. Kuroo chuckled. He sat on the wheel chair and the nurse holding it pushed him inside the ER. They were met by Sugawara. 

"Suga!" Kuroo greeted cheerfully, although he winced after doing so. 

"What did you get yourself into again, Kuroo?" Sugawara's tone was a mix of disappointment and 'I'm sick and tired of this shit' tone. 

"Give me a break!" Kuroo exclaimed. "I was just biking to work!" he defended.

Oikawa was surprised when he saw Sugawara. He pointed at him, "Aren't you from Karasuno?" he asked curiously. Sugawara turned to look at him.

"Oh! Oikawa-san!" Sugawara exclaimed, "Yes, I am from Karasuno!" he smiled widely.

"How do you--?" he pointed at Sugawara and then to Kuroo. "Oh, we used to play practice matches together here in Tokyo." Sugawara laughed. 

"It's okay guys," Kuroo interjected. "I'm not really in pain here. Go on, you can catch up with each other as much as you want." he said sarcastically.

Sugawara chuckled. "Alright, alright. C'mon now." Sugawara took the wheel chair from the nurse then wheeled Kuroo away into one of the cubicles. He sat on one of the chairs in the waiting room in the ER. 

He fidgeted on his phone for a moment when his attention was caught by a beeping sound and the sound of siren from a distance. He looked up and saw Iwaizumi looking at his pager. He looked away out of instinct, afraid that the other man will see him. 

It's been a week since the confrontation night he had with Iwaizumi. They intentionally avoided each other since then, not that it was hard for Iwaizumi since he was rarely home. 

When he looked at the man's direction again, he already disappeared. He looked around to see where he went, then he heard the deafening sound of the ambulance. He looked at the source of the noise, and there he saw Iwaizumi, meeting the EMTs from the ambulance. One of them was positioned on top of the patient, performing CPR. Iwaizumi was talking with the one performing CPR. He couldn't make out what they were saying because of the siren noise. 

He watched the medical team enter the ER and settled on in one of the cubicles. Iwaizumi was the one ordering them around. After they put the patient on one of the ER tables, Iwaizumi took the role of performing the CPR. He was still in charge while doing so, so he was also ordering around as he pump on the elderly's chest. 

He watched as Iwaizumi gave all his strength in every chest compression. He'd occasionally stop, check for pulse, then continued the CPR. He's already sweating through his scrubs and panting. Obviously, he's getting tired. A few minutes later, nothing changes with the patient's vitals. But he could still see the same determination in Iwaizumi's face as he did when they first came in the cubicle. 

He really wanted to save that man. 

Iwaizumi stopped the chest compressions and did the same routine, however, this time, one of the nurses held his shoulder and another flashed light on the eyes of the patient. The nurse shook her head slowly, and Iwaizumi's shoulder just slumped, his face looked defeated. Some sighs could be heard in the awkwardly silent room. 

"Time of death," Iwaizumi spoke, "10:20."

The nurses started to remove the apparatus attached on the patient and covered his whole body with linen. Almost everyone's already out of the cubicle. Iwaizumi stopped one of the nurses and spoke with him. Oikawa guessed that he gave the nurse a task. When Iwaizumi finally faced his direction, he had a good look on the doctor's face. He looked beyond exhausted.

But most of all, he looked empty. Like he's gotten used to trying his best to revive a patient but still ended up dying. 

No one could blame him though, really.

He was too indulged with studying Iwaizumi's features that he didn't notice the man's already looking at him. 

"Oikawa?" Iwaizumi called him as he got out of the ER.

Oikawa got nervous and just raised his hand as sign of acknowledgement. 

"What are you doing here?" Iwaizumi asked, looking worried. "Did something happen? Are you hurt?" he prodded frantically.

Oikawa raised both of his hand and waved them while shaking his head, "No, no, it's not like that." he said a little too polite.

"It's Kuroo. He fell on his bike on the way to the university and he kind of got his shoulder dislocated so I drove him here." Oikawa explained. He watched Iwaizumi ease down.

"Dr. Sugawara's treating him right now." Oikawa added when he saw that Iwaizumi was to ask a follow up question.

"Oh, okay." was all what Iwaizumi. An awkward silence fell between them. 

"Well," Iwaizumi broke the silence, "I'll see you then." He turned around and started walking away.

He doesn't know what's gotten into him, but he felt something weird, like guilt or pity. He looked at Iwaizumi's back, and all he could think of was how he wanted to console the man. So, he stood up and called him.

The doctor turned around and looked at him. 

"Would you like to grab some coffee?" he asked. 

He waited for Iwaizumi to respond, "Sure." the doctor said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhmmm... Just a disclaimer: I am not a med student nor am I studying medicine. So please don't come @ me if you see any medical jargon etc that isn't right. Thankies!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a nice conversation.
> 
> And revelations.

Oikawa texted Kuroo to inform him that he went ‘out’. He left out the part that he was with Iwaizumi, sitting awkwardly silent in a cafe near the hospital.

The two hasn’t spoken since they sat down with their coffee. 

“So,” Iwaizumi braved to break the silence, “you’re working with Kuroo? At the university?”

“Yeah,” Oikawa answered, putting down his cup of coffee. “He’s working as a part time professor at the Business Administration department. He works full time as a manager of his parents’ company.” 

“Oh,” Iwaizumi sounded surprised. “That’s nice! I didn’t know they had a business, though it’s not really something to be surprised about.” He chuckled. He only knew Kuroo because of some training camps they had with Nekoma and other Tokyo teams back in high school. 

“Yeah, I was surprised too!” Oikawa agreed. “He also has a side job, where he helps Kenma-chan market the game he developed!” He said excitedly.

“Wait, who’s Kenma again?” Iwaizumi asked. 

“The blonde one. Nekoma setter.” Oikawa described. 

“Oh… Oh!” Iwaizumi exclaimed. “I remember now. Wow! Kozume has a game?!” Iwaizumi asked. “What’s it called?” he took his phone out to look for the application. 

“I forgot what it’s called.” Oikawa said. “But I’ll ask Kuroo for you.”

“So you’re working at the university?” Iwaizumi asked, trying not to break the conversation.

“Yes,” Oikawa said, sipping on his coffee. “I was offered a job post when the previous coach retired.” 

“Wow, that’s nice. I’m happy for you!” Iwaizumi greeted cheerfully. “I’m sure the team’s really lucky to have you guide and teach them.” he smiled. 

“Not really.” Oikawa chuckled. “Most of them are already too good so most of the time they don’t need me at all.” Oikawa laughed. “Oh, by the way! Kindaichi’s on my team!” he exclaimed.

“Really?! Wow! That’s nice!” Iwaizumi said with a wide smile. “How is he?”

“He’s gotten really good!” Oikawa said. “He’s the team captain now!”

“Wow, that’s amazing!” Iwaizumi exclaimed. “Damn, now I want to meet him!” Iwaizumi laughed.

“I guess you’re enjoying your time in the Uni.” Iwaizumi said.

“Yeah,” Oikawa said. “I like it there. Even though I don’t play volleyball anymore,” Oikawa’s tone has a hint of sadness and regret. He raised his right hand and smiled sadly, “this little guy still get to touch a volleyball and even help others achieve victory.” he said confidently.

Iwaizumi chuckled. “The court really is your home more than anything.” Iwaizumi said. “That’s where you’re meant to be.”

They both chuckled softly. Then they fell silent. But this time, it wasn’t awkward. 

_This is nice._ Oikawa thought to himself. 

_This doesn’t feel heavy. This is really nice._ And it is. It’s the total opposite of what the both of them were expecting after that fateful night. 

Iwaizumi drank his coffee, so did Oikawa. While Iwaizumi was looking away, Oikawa took the chance to study the man sitting across him.

Physically, Iwaizumi looked normal. His built is neither thin nor fat, in fact, he’s still got a muscly form like what he had back in the days. Although he looks fine outwardly, you can still feel the exhaustion. You can feel it by looking at his messy hair, the dark bags underneath his eyes, the wrinkled scrubs he’s wearing. 

It makes him think back of when they were still children, when Iwaizumi would talk about his dreams of becoming a doctor. He remembers how excited Iwaizumi talks about getting his diploma and ‘that thing that doctors put on your chest to listen to your heartbeat’. He remembers how Iwaizumi’s face brightened up whenever they have that conversation.

Nothing like the Iwaizumi sitting in front of him. Nothing like the face that Iwaizumi made earlier, when he failed to save the patient. 

_So this is what you had to go through to achieve your dream?_

“Hey Iwaizumi,” Oikawa said after a while. “Iwa…” he hesitated, “Can I call you that?”

Iwaizumi looked taken aback. “Yeah, sure!” he replied.

“I saw what happened back in the hospital…” he paused, thinking what to say next.

“Oh,” Iwaizumi said silently. “Sorry you had to see that.” Iwaizumi said. 

“No, it’s fine.” Oikawa smiled shyly. “I mean, I just want to know how are you feeling right now...?”

Iwaizumi looked at him in the eyes, which made Oikawa feel hot in the face. 

“Hmm…” Iwaizumi looked away, “I don’t really know.” he continued. None of them said anything.

“Well,” Iwaizumi said. “We were trained to accept such situations and basically feel nothing about it.” He chuckled softly. “Our professors made sure we understand that we’re dealing with mortal beings, and that we cannot save everyone.”

Oikawa stayed silent. Iwaizumi faced him. “I just try my best not to beat myself about it.” he smiled.

Oikawa can feel the guilt in Iwaizumi’s voice. He can see that he feels the exact opposite of what he was saying. He gets the logic, but it is only that he realizes what Iwaizumi’s reality must be like. Within the past years, he must have witnessed death hundreds of times. 

Oikawa looked sadly at Iwaizumi.

“So, this is what you’ve been going through, huh?” it was meant to be a thought, but it escaped his mouth. He covered his mouth as soon as he realized he said it out loud.

Iwaizumi only chuckled. Oikawa held his gaze, “Iwa, about the other night…” he started.

“I’m sorry.” Iwaizumi said all of a sudden. He looked at Oikawa. “I’m sorry about that night. And about what happened to us.” Iwaizumi said softly. “I’m sorry I didn’t try hard enough. I’m sorry I didn’t consider how you must’ve felt. I’m sorry I never asked.” he continued. 

Oikawa held back his tears as hard as he can. He didn’t want to cry in public. So, he smiled instead. 

“I’m sorry I left.” Iwaizumi finished. 

Oikawa wanted to cry, and then hug Iwaizumi. They’ve been so lost and left in the dark; they still are. But this moment, right now, he wanted to forget about the past and live this moment. 

“Don’t worry about it.” He replied to Iwaizumi. He reached out to hold the other one’s hand. Iwaizumi held his hand back. 

\----------

The two of them went back to the hospital and saw Kuroo waiting for Oikawa. Kuroo greeted Iwaizumi, but Iwaizumi was paged so they couldn’t talk for too long. 

Oikawa dropped Kuroo at his apartment and bid him goodbye.

When he got home, he threw himself to the sofa. He smiled. He’s still confused about what he should feel, but he couldn’t deny the fact that today was a good day.

Someone rang the doorbell. 

He immediately stood up from his sofa and rushed to the door. 

“Yo, Oikawa-san!” Kindaichi greeted. 

“Kindaichi? What are you doing here?” he asked, confused. He let him in. 

“I forgot to give you this,” Kindaichi handed a notebook to him. “Well, honestly, I didn’t forget it. More like, I misplaced it, and just found it now.” he laughed. 

Kindaichi studies Architecture in Tohoku University. He’s in his senior year and leads the volleyball team. 

“How’d you know where I live?” Oikawa asked.

“I asked Sir Hisashi, then he gave me your address. I thought I’ll just give it to you at school, but I remembered Archi students will be having a retreat next week, and I won’t be able to hand it over to you.” Kindaichi explained. “At first, I was thinking I’ll just have it delivered or something, but when I received your address, you just live a few blocks from my dorm!” he said excitedly.

He looked through the notebook. It was a collection of the previous coach’s notes for strategies and information about other teams as well. 

“Thanks!” Oikawa said excitedly. “This will be a big help!” he said as he sat on the sofa and continued browsing through the notebook. 

“No problem!” Kindaichi exclaimed. “I thought it might help you somehow, since I won’t be around for quite a while, and the tournaments will begin next month.”

“Would you like something to eat?” Oikawa offered.

“No, water’s just fine.” Kindaichi said. Oikawa fetched a glass of water from the kitchen. 

Last month was the first time Oikawa was able to see Kindaichi ever since he graduated from high school. He was surprised and glad to see that Kindaichi still plays volleyball, and that he is part of his previous university’s varsity. They never really got to catch up since most of the time, Oikawa meant business, while the other times, Kindaichi will need to skip practice because of his on the job training demands. 

“Hey Kindaichi,” Oikawa said as he handed the glass to Kindaichi. “I just realized, we never really caught up and talked with each other, despite being teammates before.” 

“Oh,” Kindaichi said before drinking the glass of water. “Yeah, you’re right. This is the first time in years that we really _talked_. I mean, I met Iwaizumi-san a few years back, but I never really got to talk to him properly.”

Oikawa was drinking water, but he choked and almost blew the water from his mouth when he heard what Kindaichi said. 

“Are you okay?!” Kindaichi stood up from the sofa and walked towards Oikawa’s kitchen. 

“Yeah,” Oikawa coughed, “yeah, I’m fine.” he coughed a little more. “Did you say you met Iwaizumi?”

“Yeah...wait, IWAIZUMI?” Kindaichi said shockingly. “But you used to call him ‘Iwa-chan’!”

“Long story,” Oikawa dismissed. “When did you meet him?”

“6 years ago.” Kindaichi said, “I remember it clearly because that day was one heck of a traumatizing event.” he added.

“What do you mean?” Oikawa asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“I don’t think the news reached you, but a few years ago,” he sat back down on the sofa. “when we were in our 3rd year of high school, the whole team was involved in an accident in Tokyo.”

“What?!” Oikawa said. He walked towards the living room and sat beside Kindaichi.

“Yeah,” Kindaichi replied sadly, “We were supposed to have a practice match with Fukurodani when it happened.” he paused. “It was pretty big, but fortunately, none of the members were injured badly. I had a forehead wound and a fractured arm, but nothing more than that.” he said. 

“The injuries weren’t bad, but the mental effect of it was...kind of bad.” Kindaichi said. “Most of us became scared of riding buses. The first years even had nightmares due to the incident..”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Oikawa said, “It must’ve been a lot to handle for them.”

“Yeah…” Kindaichi sighed. 

“How come we never knew about this? We never heard from Coach or Mizoguchi-san.” Oikawa exclaimed. 

“I don’t really know.” Kindaichi shrugged. “Although,” Kindaichi faced Oikawa, “what I am more curious about is how come you didn’t know when I met Iwaizumi-san in the hospital that day?”

Oikawa fell silent. 

“He was there,” Kindaichi continued, “he said he was interning in that hospital as a nurse, although I don’t think he was on duty that day since he’s the only nurse who wasn’t in uniform that day.”

“When did you say this happened again?” Oikawa asked, facing Kindaichi.

“October 8, 2015”

Oikawa fell really, really silent. Suddenly, he’s back to the hospital room in Sendai. 

_Tooru, I am so sorry. There was an accident in Tokyo, and they needed more help._

He felt his mouth become dry, his hand sweat, and his heart beat so fast.

“Oikawa-san?” Kindaichi called to him. He didn’t respond. “Oikawa-san?” the younger man waved his hand in front of Oikawa’s face. Oikawa took notice of it and faced Kindaichi. 

“Oh, sorry ‘bout that.” Oikawa said, laughing nervously. “Hey, it’s getting late, you should probably head back to your dorm.” Oikawa informed Kindaichi, 

The young man looked at his watch, “Shoot! You’re right. Gotta prepare some things for the retreat!” Kindaichi quickly stood up. “Thanks for the chat, Oikawa-san!” He went for the door, waved goodbye and got in the elevator. 

The moment Oikawa closed the door, he felt like puking. So, instinctively, he ran to the kitchen and gagged. Nothing came out. He washed his face, drank water and went to his bedroom. 

The conversation with Kindaichi kept playing and playing in his mind, a surge of emotions overwhelming him. Tears started to pool his eyes and he started sobbing.

_I’m such an asshole._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! I promise I will edit the tags and everything once I finish the story!! Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwa's in danger.
> 
> That's it. 
> 
> That's the tweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: Again, I am not a medical student nor is my career in line with medical practice. I am just a person who's frustrated about medicine lol Although I do research in order to make it as realistic as possible. 
> 
> Medical terminologies are explained in the notes at the end.

After that day in the hospital, Oikawa barely saw Iwaizumi. It wasn’t because they continued avoiding each other, or that he intentionally avoided the guy. Oikawa actually wanted to have another conversation with him after his conversation with Kindaichi. But he never got the chance because Iwaizumi almost didn’t go home. 

He did one Saturday. Oikawa was about to go for a morning run when he met Iwaizumi in the hallway. He wanted to call his attention but he was stopped by Iwaizumi’s haggard face. The doctor didn’t even acknowledge his presence. He was totally out of it, which got Oikawa worried. So instead of starting a conversation with him, he just went on his way to avoid stressing the other man more. 

That was basically the last time he saw Iwaizumi, although it’s not that surprising since they both have jobs on the weekdays. What bothers him the most though, is Iwaizumi’s continuous lack of rest. 

So he decided to contact Hanamaki. He knows he works in the same hospital as Iwaizumi.

“Hey,” he said when Hanamaki picked up. “Are you busy?” he asked. 

“Depends.” Hanamaki said. He IS busy. “What’s up?”

“Can you come over after your shift?” Oikawa asked. “Wanna talk about something important.”

“My shift ends at 11PM though.” Hanamaki said. 

“That’s fine. I’ll wait.”

“ ‘Kay. Talk to you later.” Hanamaki ended the call without even a goodbye. Normally, Oikawa would have been offended. This is different though. He considers himself lucky that Hanamaki even answered the call. 

He prepared dinner while he waited for Hanamaki, and by “prepared”, he meant have food delivered and then prepare the table for it. As he prepared the table, he suddenly thought if Iwaizumi even ate at all. He shook the thought away. He knows the person very well, he grew up together with him anyway. He’s SURE that Iwaizumi will not overlook his own health. 

The doorbell rang. He ran to the door and opened it, the delivery man handing him the food. He went back to his dining table and fetched his wallet. He handed the payment to the man and thanked him. As he was turning to get back inside his house, he heard the elevator ding and Iwaizumi stepped out of it. 

“Iwa!” He called out to the man. The man looked at him, looking disoriented. “Oh, Oikawa…” he responded. 

“Wow, you look like literal shit.” Oikawa said with exaggeration. Iwaizumi laughed weakly. He stopped at the front of his door. “Just a little tired.” Iwaizumi said. 

“You call that ‘a little’?” Oikawa exclaimed, tailing Iwaizumi as he entered the apartment. “Have you even eaten yet?” Oikawa asked frustrated. 

Iwaizumi dropped his things on the sofa, went to the kitchen and filled a glass with water. 

“Hey, did you hear me?” Oikawa was getting annoyed. Is he being ignored? 

“Wha--did you say something?” Iwaizumi asked. He looks very disoriented, and he was sweating a lot.

“I asked if you’ve eaten already? If not, you can come and eat with me and Makki.” Oikawa said.

“No, it’s oka--” suddenly, Iwaizumi gagged and quickly turned to the sink and retched. Oikawa quickly ran to his side. He rubbed Iwaizumi's back up and down. 

"What's happening to you?" Oikawa said with concern. 

Iwaizumi retched and vomitted again, which makes Oikawa want to vomit too. Iwaizumi washed his face and drained his vomit. Oikawa noticed that he was shaking. 

"Iwa, what are you feeling? What's going on?" Oikawa asked. Iwaizumi's the doctor in the room anyways. 

"Oikawa," Iwaizumi said a little too slowly. "please call someone. Call Hanama--"

Iwaizumi's body tensed up, eyes rolled up and then Iwaizumi was falling. Oikawa was too shocked realize what just happened. He was brought back by the choked sounds that’s coming from Iwaizumi’s seizing body. 

Iwaizumi is seizing. He's having a seizure.

Oikawa ran beside Iwaizumi’s body, panic overpowering logic. He held Iwaizumi’s body and tried to turn him to the side. He held his head as well to prevent it from banging on the floor. 

“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” Oikawa said, “it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.” He can feel the panic turning into crying. Iwaizumi was still shaking uncontrollably, saliva starting to ooze out of his mouth.

“HELP!!” Oikawa shouted. He doesn’t have his phone with him since he left it at his own apartment. “HELP!!!” his voice cracked as he shouted again.

He heard footsteps from somewhere in the apartment, which he was guessing was probably from Iwaizumi’s front door. 

“Oh my god,” someone said. The person, who turned out to be Sugawara, knelt down beside Iwaizumi’s shaking body. “What happened?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Oikawa said frantically in between sobs. “We were just talking, and, and then he suddenly fell-- oh god!” Oikawa cried harder. “Please help him!”

Hanamaki was the one to remove Oikawa away from Iwaizumi and knelt beside Iwaizumi. “Do you remember how long he’s been seizing?” Hanamaki asked Oikawa. 

“I don’t know,” Oikawa replied, still crying. “It- it s-started just right before you came.” He tried to explain.

“Shit,” Hanamaki said. He noticed a lump forming in Iwaizumi’s head. Sugawara put his palm under Iwaizumi’s head to support it. All of a sudden, Iwaizumi stopped from seizing. Sugawara assisted him to lay on his back. Sugawara pulled out a pen with a flashlight in it and flashed the light on Iwaizumi’s eyes. “They’re normal.” Sugawara said. 

“Do you know if he’s epileptic?” he asked Hanamaki. “No,” Hanamaki replied. “Not that I’m aware of. What about you, Oikawa?” Hanamaki asked Oikawa, who was sobbing at the kitchen door.

“No. He’s not epileptic.” he replied. 

Iwaizumi’s body tensed up and began shaking again. “Shit!” Sugawara exclaimed. He turned Iwaizumi’s body to the side again and Hanamaki supported Iwaizumi’s head to keep it from hurting. Sugawara continued inquiring, “How many times have he had a seizure before?”

“I think this is the first time.” Oikawa responded immediately. “I’ve never seen him like this before!” Oikawa exclaimed. 

“Makki we need to take him to the hospital.” Sugawara looked at the nurse. Hanamaki looked at his watch to time the seizure. They couldn’t do anything but wait for the seizure to stop. It was terrifying hearing the grunts and choking sound that Iwaizumi was making. A few minutes later, he stopped seizing. Hanamaki looked at his watch again,

“That was 6 minutes.” he told Sugawara.

“Can you try to carry him on your back? We need to bring him to the car.” Sugawara said. “Oikawa-san, can you please hand me that table napkin over there,” Oikawa jumped at the sound of his name, but immediately recovered and handed the table napkin to Sugawara. Sugawara wiped the saliva on Iwaizumi’s cheek, and laid him on his back. He supported Iwaizumi’s body and propped it in a sitting position, then Hanamaki pulled his arms over his shoulder, positioning him in a piggy back ride. Once they made sure Iwaizumi’s safe, Hanamaki stood up and ran to the elevator, followed by Sugawara and a still sobbing Oikawa. 

The elevator ride felt like forever. When its doors opened to the basement, Sugawara lead them to Hanamaki’s car. Hanamaki threw the key at him, and Sugawara quickly opened the door and started the car. Hanamaki laid Iwaizumi at the back and sat beside him. Oikawa sat in the passenger’s seat. 

Sugawara was a careful driver, until that night. He drove as fast as he could. They were lucky since it was almost 12AM. There were almost no cars on the road.

“Hey Sanbe!” Oikawa heard Makki almost shout on the phone. “We have an emergency patient coming your way. Get a gurney ready. We’re almost there.” he commanded. “And page neurology.” he ended the call 

"Iwa, can you hear me?" Hanamaki said, trying to wake Iwaizumi, who was limply unconscious in the back of the car. "Iwa! Dammit, you gotta stay awake man!" 

When they arrived at the ER entrance, there were nurses and someone who looked like Tsukishima, waiting with a gurney. Hanamaki quickly opened the door even before Sugawara came to a halt. The nurses pooled in the car and slowly got Iwaizumi out of the car. 

They laid him on the gurney and rolled him to the ER. 

"Doctor Iwaizumi, can you hear me?" It was indeed Tsukishima. 

Oikawa and Sugawara followed, but when they reached the door of the Emergency room, only Sugawara was allowed to get in. 

“We will need you to wait outside, please” one of the nurses stopped him. Oikawa protested but immediately obeyed. He looked over at the commotion in the ER, hoping to get another glimpse of Iwaizumi. 

He needs to see him. He needs to make sure that Iwaizumi is alive. 

He realized one thing that night: he no longer knows Iwaizumi as much as he thought he knew him. 

\---------------------------

In the ER, Iwaizumi had another seizure. 

It happened when Hanamaki was getting blood for the laboratory. He started shaking uncontrollably. The medical team did nothing but wait it out. This one lasted for 3 minutes. 

When he stopped shaking, they started working again. Tsukishima flashed light on his eyes. Sugawara was the one ordering around. Hanamaki ordered another nurse to bring the vile of blood to the laboratory. 

One of the nurses hooked him on the EKG. It alarmed the moment it was connected. 

“His pulse ox is too low,” one of the nurses informed. “We need to intubate.” Hanamaki started the process. Once he’s done, Iwaizumi’s no longer just breathing on his own. Hanamaki left the bagging to one of the nurses.

_This is bad, and too fast._

“He’s in tachycardia.” Hanamaki informed Sugawara while looking at the EKG, “His BP’s 80/50, pulse ox 70.” 

"What do you think is it?" Hanamaki asked, as he started to hook Iwaizumi to an IV. 

“Makki, I need you to ask Oikawa some questions.” Sugawara said. “Like what was Iwaizumi like when he saw him, since he’s the last person Iwaizumi interacted with.” 

“Alright.” Makki replied and ran out of the ER. 

Outside, Oikawa was sitting in the waiting room, crying. Oikawa looked up and saw Hanamaki walking towards him. “How’s Iwa-chan? Is he okay? Can I see him now?” Oikawa asked frantically.

Hanamaki stopped him, “Hey, hey, calm down.” Hanamaki said. “We’re still helping him out, but I also need your help so we can help him faster, okay?.” 

Oikawa nodded. “What was he like when you last saw him?” Hanamaki asked straight to the point. 

Oikawa thought for a second, “He looked very very tired and lethargic.” Oikawa recalls, “I think he’s also disoriented. He missed answering some of my questions.”

Hanamaki nodded. “Okay, that’s all I need.” He stood up but Oikawa held his hand, “Wait,” Oikawa’s tears started welling up again, “Will he be okay?”

Hanamaki turned to Oikawa, removed his hand from holding his scrubs, then held it tightly. “Don’t worry Oikawa, we’re doing the best we can.” He smiled and left with that.

“What did Oikawa say?” Sugawara asked Hanamaki as soon as he enters the ER. 

“He said he was very lethargic and disoriented.” Hanamaki said. 

“Common pre-seizure symptoms.” Sugawara noted. “We need the labs back immediately.”

Luckily, the nurse who went to the laboratory came back. She handed Sugawara the results. His eyes widened.

"Shit, his sodium's 123, he’s hyponatremic. " Sugawara said. “We need to get his urine sample for another lab.”

“On it.” Hanamaki prepared a catheter for the procedure. 

“Tsukishima!” Sugawara called. “I need you to schedule him for a CT Scan stat. There’s a possibility of brain edema.” Tsukishima nodded, and then ran off to the CT Scan room. 

"We need to get his sodium up. Kouhei, give him a bag of 1% saline." Sugawara paused. “We need to get his potassium up as well." Sugawara said. The nurses started moving again, pulling different drawers to fetch what they need. Sugawara looked at Iwaizumi’s unmoving body. They need to move fast and get Iwaizumi's vitals up. If they don't, he might go into cardiac arrest or coma.

What bothers and angers him at the same time is how his friend ended up like this. He works in the same hospital with Iwaizumi and yet he missed the signs, and now his friend's life is in danger. He doesn't even have a clue why this is happening. He felt guilt eat him away.

Tsukishima entered the cubicle, “CT’s ready.” Sugawara and Hanamaki moved fast. As they started moving Iwaizumi, the EKG’s alarm went off. 

“Fuck!” Hanamaki exclaimed. He checked for Iwaizumi’s pulse. “He’s in VTach!” he shouted. Sugawara immediately started CPR. One of the nurses rolled the defibrillator by his side. Tsukishima took over the CPR, as Sugawara prepared the defib. 

“200 joules, clear?” Sugawara announced. Tsukishima stepped out of the way and the nurse bagging Iwaizumi stepped away as well. “Clear.” They responded. Sugawara delivered the shock and Iwaizumi’s body jolted. 

Hanamaki checked Iwaizumi’s neck for a pulse, “Nothing.” He announced. Tsukishima resumed the CPR. 

“Don’t do this man,” Hanamaki said silently as he took over the ambubag. 

Sugawara charged the defib once more, “Clear?” Tsukishima and Hanamaki stepped away, “Clear.” they responded. “Clear!” Sugawara delivered another shock. The EKG stopped from alarming, revealing Iwaizumi’s still fast heartbeat. Hanamaki checked for a pulse, “It’s back.” he informed the group. Most of them sighed, then started working on rolling Iwaizumi toward the CT Scan room. 

When they got there, they were met by Dr. Ueno, attending from Neurology. He looked at the patient and his eyes widened with shock, "Is that Dr. Iwaizumi?" he asked. 

"Yes," Sugawara replied. "He had 3 seizures within the past half an hour, which we believe is caused by brain edema caused by hyponatremia. His sodium's 123 and potassium’s 2.4. We're still trying to stabilize him. He got into VTach earlier." Sugawara explained as Hanamaki, Tsukishima and the other nurses prepared Iwaizumi for the scan. 

Dr. Ueno started the process. As soon as it’s done, Dr. Ueno confirmed Sugawara’s initial diagnosis. “Fortunately, he won’t be needing surgery. However, we need to prevent the increase of swelling. We need to get his sodium and potassium up to avoid that.” Dr. Ueno explained. “We also need to avoid another seizure, or else it would be lethal.” 

“Let’s observe how his body responds to the 3% saline.” Sugawara said. “If the swelling doesn’t get better, we’ll have to induce coma.”

Sugawara asked a nurse to get another blood test to the labs, and asked for the urine test results. They moved Iwaizumi to the ICU after that.

Once settled in the ICU, Hanamaki looked at Iwaizumi, then he looked at Sugawara. “What the fuck is this?” he asked exhaustedly, pointing his hand to Iwaizumi’s body. “How--Why--” He frustratedly rubbed his forehead. “I just don’t understand this.”

Sugawara stayed silent. “How can we miss this?” Hanamaki continued. “How can he let this happen to himself?!” he paused.

“He’s already a fucking doctor, dammit!” Hanamaki almost shouted. There’s so many thoughts and emotions to feel, but the most dominant of them all is frustration. 

And guilt.

“I can’t believe I missed all the signs.” Sugawara spoke for the first time. “I can’t remember if I even checked on him the past week.”

The two of them fell silent, nothing but the steady but fast rhythm of the EKG and the ventilator made the sound.

“I swear to God, when he wakes up, I’ll beat him till he gets unconscious again.” Hanamaki said, trying his best to stop himself from crying. Sugawara chuckled, wiping his own tears. 

“We gotta go to Oikawa.” Sugawara said. They both left the ICU and made their way to the ER waiting room. There they found Oikawa sitting still, his hands clapped together, his body arched into a praying position. When he heard the doors close behind Sugawara and Hanamaki, he looked up and ran to them. 

“How’s he? Is he okay? Can I see him?” he asked frantically. He already stopped crying.

“He’s in the ICU now. He went to a hyponatremic shock. He’s still under observation.” Sugawara explained. Oikawa looked confused. 

“It means he’s not out of the woods yet. We have to stabilize him before we can have people visit him.” Hanamaki explained calmly. 

“We need to inform his family.” Sugawara sighed. 

The three of them stood there, filled with uncertainty, anxiety, and guilt.

_Just what the fuck is this?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EKG- the heart monitor we see in med series and movies. the one that makes the "beep" sound.
> 
> sodium- salt in the blood
> 
> hyponatremic/hyponatremia- low sodium level. normal sodium is at least 136. It can also cause low potassium levels in the blood or "hypokalemia". normal potassium is at least 3.5
> 
> Brain edema- swelling of the brain caused by fluid creating pressure to the brain. 
> 
> VTach- basically the electricity in the heart fail to work properly which leads to the ventricles pumping too fast and the unable to pump blood to the body. No pulse output.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation between Mrs. Iwaizumi and Oikawa. 
> 
> And Realizations, realizations, realizations.

Oikawa went home that night. He was advised by Hanamaki and Sugawara to rest, and told him he can come back tomorrow if he wants to. 

“Hopefully he will be stable tomorrow.” Sugawara said. “Then you can visit him.” he smiled.

“I’ll contact his parents later.” Hanamaki stated. Oikawa nodded in response. 

“I called Issei to drive you home. He’ll be here any minute.” Right after he said that, the ER entrance door opened and Matsukawa entered. 

“Hey,” he greeted them. He gave Hanamaki a side hug. “What happened?” he asked, panting. He must’ve ran his way there. There was silence for a few moments.

“Iwaizumi…” Hanamaki hesitated. “Iwaizumi’s in a bad shape right now.” Hanamaki tried to tame the severity of the situation. 

“Where is he right now? Can we see him?” Matsukawa asked.

“He’s in the ICU and he’s not stable yet.” Sugawara said. “He’s still very vulnerable right now.” 

“How did this happen?” Matsukawa said, still shocked by what he’s hearing. Everyone went silent, because honestly, no one knows the answer to that.

“It’s just like the last time.” Matsukawa said sadly. Oikawa looked at him curiously. _Last time?_

“Hey babe, please take Oikawa home.” Hanamaki said. “And you?” Matsukawa asked. 

“We’ll have to stay. We have to observe how he responds to the treatments he’s on.” Hanamaki explained. Matsukawa nodded slowly. “Text me if you need anything.” he said. Matsukawa kissed Hanamaki and turned to Oikawa. He put his arm around Oikawa’s shoulder and lead him to the exit.

They drove silently back to Oikawa’s apartment. When they arrived, Matsukawa checked his phone and saw that he received a from Hanamaki.

Hanamaki: **_Can you stay with him for the night? He’s very stressed and shaken by what happened._**

Matsukawa _:_ ** _Sure. You sure you don’t need anything? You sure you’re okay?_**

Hanamaki: **_Hmm.. I’m a bit shaken too, and pissed at the same time, not gonna lie. I just can’t believe this is happening, and to Iwaizumi of all people._ **

Matsukawa replied. **_I’ll stay at the hospital tomorrow. No objections._ **

Hanamaki: _**What**_ **_about work?_ **

Matsukawa: **_It’s okay. My sister will take care of it._ **

Hanamaki: **_Okay then. I’ll get going now. Love you._ **

Matsukawa: **_Love you too._ **

Matsukawa sat on Oikawa’s sofa and sighed. This does feel like the last time. The uncertainty and anxiety creeping up on him is so familiar.

“You’ve done it again, Iwa.” he said silently as he laid on the sofa. 

“What do you mean, _again_?” Oikawa asked from behind. Matsukawa got up quickly. “I thought you were going to sleep?” Matsukawa asked Oikawa.

“I couldn’t.” Oikawa said. He walked towards the sofa and sat beside Matsukawa.

"What do you mean again?" he repeated his question. Matsukawa looked away. He stayed silent for a while. 

"It's not like it was a secret," Matsukawa said, "but Iwaizumi collapsed 6 years ago." he explained. Now it's Oikawa who stayed silent. 

"He overworked himself and didn't eat nor drink water for 4 days. He was found passed out in his dorm." Matsukawa continued. "He was asleep for 3 days straight. The doctor said his body shut down due to dehydration and lack of nutrients."

Oikawa remained silent. "It actually surprised me and Hanamaki. He's not one to overlook his health." Matsukawa finished.

"When did that happen?" Oikawa asked. "I mean, was it before or after the," Oikawa paused. "the...breakup?"

" I think it was after," Matsukawa replies. 

There was a heavy silence between the two. 

"Mattsun," Oikawa breaks the silence. 

"Hm?"

"I just recently learned," Oikawa finally breaks, "I just realized that I am such an asshole." he cried. Matsukawa put his hand on Oikawa's back and comforted him. "For the longest time, I thought I was the only one who suffered. I looked only at myself. Pitying myself." he continued sobbing.

"I forgot that Iwaizumi hurts too." 

Matsukawa let Oikawa cry. He didn't say anything, but he kept on rubbing Oikawa's back to let him know that he's there.

"I want to apologize," Oikawa continued. "I want to let him know I forgive him, and I want him to know that I am sorry as well."

"And now, I don't even know if I can still do that." Oikawa cried harder.

"Shh, don't say that." Matsukawa said. "You'll get your chance as soon as he wakes up."

Oikawa cried until he fell asleep on Matsukawa's shoulder that night. The next morning, he woke up to his apartment empty. But later on, Matsukawa enters with a bag in his hand. 

"Hanamaki's things." Matsukawa told Oikawa. "I'm going to the hospital, wanna come?"

Oikawa nodded and went to his room to prepare. 10 minutes later, he and Matsukawa drove to the hospital.

\--------------

On the 8th hour after Iwaizumi’s last seizure, he had another one. Although, his sodium and potassium levels were gradually improving, they did another CT Scan and showed that the swelling in his brain was not getting better which caused the seizure.

Fortunately, his heart didn't stop. Dr. Ueno decided to put him into a medically induced coma in order to let the swelling subside. 

Iwaizumi's mother came in a few hours after the last seizure. Hanamaki was the one to meet her. She looks scared and worried, but collected. Sugawara explained the situation to her.

"His sodium level went severely low which caused his brain to swell. He had 4 seizures so we had to put him in a medically induced coma." Sugawara explained. Mrs. Iwaizumi flinched at the sound of the word "coma".

"Oh, don't worry. We just gave him some strong anesthetics in order to put his bodily functions to rest. We'll check again after 8 hours to see if there's an improvement in his brain." Sugawara explained. 

"How did this happen?" Mrs. Iwaizumi asked worriedly. 

Sugawara and Hanamaki fell silent. Then all of a sudden, Hanamaki bowed really low. "Auntie, I'm sorry. I should've taken care of Iwaizumi more." Hanamaki apologized. Sugawara did the same. "We're really sorry, we could've prevented this from happening…" Suga said. 

Mrs. Iwaizumi was shocked at first, and then she smiled softly. "Please, raise your heads." 

Hanamaki and Sugawara hesitated for a moment, and then straightened up. Mrs. Iwaizumi grabbed their hands.

"I'm just glad Hajime has the two of you to take care of him." she said while smiling. 

\------------

When Matsukawa and Oikawa arrived, they were met by Tsukishima.

"He's still at the ICU." he informed the two. "He had another seizure earlier so we put him to an induced coma." 

Oikawa gasped and put his hand over his mouth. He felt Matsukawa tense beside him. 

"Don't worry, it's done to let the brain heal from swelling. His vitals are slowly going back to normal, which is good." Tsukishima said. 

"Can we see him now?" Oikawa asked anxiously.

"His mother's still inside. You can wait outside though." Tsukishima said. 

"Thank you," Matsukawa told Tsukishima before they ran off to the ICU ward.

When they got there, Mrs. Iwaizumi was just getting out of the room. "Auntie." Matsukawa greeted. 

"Oh, Issei-kun." Mrs. Iwaizumi greeted back and smiled. She looked over at Oikawa. "Tooru-kun?" Mrs. Iwaizumi exclaimed, looking like she couldn't believe her eyes. 

Oikawa looked down shyly, "Auntie…" he said. 

"Oh my Gosh! It really is you!" Mrs. Iwaizumi exclaimed. "How have you been? I didn't know you met Hajime here in Tokyo." Mrs. Iwaizumi asked, trying to meet Oikawa's eyes. Although Mrs. Iwaizumi still often visited the Oikawa household after the breakup, Oikawa still found it hard to not feel guilty towards her. She has been nothing but nice to Oikawa after all.

Oikawa just smiled sheepishly in response.

"How's Iwa, auntie?" Matsukawa asked, attempting to break the settling awkwardness and tension. Mrs. Iwaizumi sighed.

"Well, he's still asleep. They said they had to put him in a coma so he can heal properly." she explained, worry lacing her every word. 

"We heard," Matsukawa said sympathetically. "Can we see him?" 

"I think family's the only ones allowed to come in yet." Mrs. Iwaizumi said sadly.

"Oh," Matsukawa nodded. 

"All we can do right now is wait." Mrs. Iwaizumi sighed sadly. 

They went over to the chairs in the waiting room. Oikawa and Mrs. Iwaizumi sat but Matsukawa didn't. 

"I'll get going," Matsukawa said, "I'll be handing these to Hanamaki." he lifted the bag of Hanamaki's things. He patted Oikawa's shoulder, gave Mrs. Iwaizumi a bow, then went away.

"Tooru-kun," Mrs. Iwaizumi said, which made Oikawa flinch in surprise. "How have you been?" she asked with a warm smile.

"I've been great, thanks for asking." Oikawa replied with a smile.

"How are you settling here in Tokyo?" asked Mrs. Iwaizumi.

"I'm coping well, thanks to Makki and Mattsun." he said shyly. In normal circumstances, he would've been a better conversationalist. However, this is not just any normal circumstance. He's speaking to the mother of the man he used to be best friends with, and is now laying on a hospital bed fighting for his life.

They fell silent for a moment.

"Tooru-kun," Mrs. Iwaizumi broke the silence. Oikawa looked at her. "I never really talked with you about your relationship with Hajime." she said. "I mean, I would see you from time to time when you were still in Miyagi." she smiled.

"Hajime's not the kind of child to open up, but one time he went home from Tokyo, looking really down. That was the first time in months that he went home."

Oikawa just listened. "I asked him what happened. But he just went in to hug me, and then he cried hard. Like a baby." she chuckled. "He just hugged me for a long time and cried. After that, I asked him again about what happened." She looked at Oikawa, who was busy studying the ground.

"And that's when he told me about the two of you."

"That was the first time I learned about you two." she said sadly. "He told me about everything. How happy he was when you two got together, and how happy he felt whenever you spent time together." she smiled and looked at her hands, as if she was reminiscing the very day she was talking about.

"That night, he told me that he failed to go to your date." she paused.

"At first I thought it was such a shallow thing to cry about," she said, laughing lightly.

"I mean, there's so much more chances for the two of you to meet. But then I felt the exhaustion in his body that night."

"I realized, you were his source of strength. Him crying that night was his exhaustion getting to him." 

Oikawa can feel his tears prickling in his eyes. His throat hurt for trying to stop himself from crying.

"I realized, he was looking for a source of strength, so he went to me instead. I'm honestly thankful that he missed your date that day." she chuckled lightly. "Because he wouldn't have come home to me if he didn't." Oikawa heard Mrs. Iwaizumi sniff. He couldn't stop himself from crying. He started sobbing.

"I learnt a few months later, when he collapsed, that the two of you broke up." Mrs. Iwaizumi was sobbing. "He told me he felt like he didn't deserve anything in the world because he hurt you."

Oikawa's having a hard time breathing because he was crying so hard. Mrs. Iwaizumi reached out to his hand. "Tooru-kun," she said, holding Oikawa's hand. Oikawa faced his body towards her but he didn't look directly at her. 

"There's nothing I would ask from you but to forgive Hajime." Mrs. Iwaizumi pleaded.

Oikawa broke down. He cried and cried. He couldn't speak. All he could do was cry. 

How could he be so self absorbed? He never really changed. He's the same self centered and self absorbed asshole as he was in high school. 

He continued crying and Mrs. Iwaizumi held him. He tried to compose himself and faced Mrs. Iwaizumi. 

"Auntie…" he hitched. He shook his head hard, "No, Auntie I'm the one who's sorry. I didn't think of what Iwa was going through. All I saw was me and my suffering." he cried. 

Mrs. Iwaizumi looked at him kindly. Oikawa held her hand tighter. He bowed his hand and repeatedly say, "I'm so sorry."

When the both of them calmed down, Mrs. Iwaizumi asked Oikawa to eat a meal with her. They went to the hospital cafeteria. Mrs. Iwaizumi helped Oikawa pick his food. She picked the healthiest food in the menu possible. "I bet you haven't eaten anything healthy lately." she said as she put food on Oikawa's tray. 

Oikawa suddenly missed his Mom and Miyagi in general. Mrs. Iwaizumi made him feel at home. 

By 4PM, Iwaizumi's father came. He was more frantic than Mrs. Iwaizumi. She filled him in with what went on. As they were talking, Sugawara interjected and informed them about Iwaizumi's CT Scan results.

"Unfortunately, the swelling has not fully subsided yet, but rest assured it is healing. We will need 8 to 12 more hours to observe his condition." he explained. "That also means he won't be waking up sooner from the induced coma to avoid risks of complications and another seizure."

The Iwaizumis nodded in agreement, trying to fully grasp what they just heard. 

"Can I see him for a moment?" Mr. Iwaizumi asked. 

"Of course. Please follow me." Sugawara lead him to Iwaizumi's room. 

"Do you have a place to stay at tonight?" Oikawa asked Mrs. Iwaizumi.

"We're planning to book a hotel room or something." Mrs. Iwaizumi replied. 

"You can stay in my place if you'd like." Oikawa offered.

"Thank you very much for the offer," Mrs. Iwaizumi said, "but we don't want to be an inconvenience. Beside we're planning to stay somewhere near, so it would be easy to come in case of...in case of emergency." she explained nicley.

"Oh, okay." Oikawa replied. "At least let me book the hotel for you." he offered.

"We'd appreciate that." Mrs. Iwaizumi said with a smile. 

Oikawa busied himself and looked for a hotel to book. He was successfully able to find one 3 blocks away from the hospital. 

"I was able to book you a room in Sakura Hotel. You may go there to settle your things later." He informed Mrs. Iwaizumi. 

"Thank you so much, Tooru-kun!" she said.

"If you need anything, please do not hesitate to contact me." he said with a smile. 

At 8PM, the Iwaizumis went to the hotel to settle their things. Mr. Iwaizumi went home to Miyagi and fetched more things since they will be staying much longer than they expected. 

When the Iwaizumis left, Oikawa stayed in the hospital. He sat still in the waiting room, staring at Iwaizumi's room's door. 

"Why are you still here?" Hanamaki asked, walking towards him. He has a clipboard in his hand. 

Oikawa just smiled weakly. "You should go home." Hanamaki said. He sat beside Oikawa. "You look awful." 

Oikawa chuckled, thinking of the crying mess he was earlier. "We don't want you in a gurney too." Hanamaki added.

"Makki,"

"Hm?"

"Is there really no way for me to see Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked. Hanamaki tensed up beside him. That was the first time in 6 years that he referred to Iwaizumi as "Iwa-chan". Oikawa started to feel his tears incoming.

"I just really want to see him." he started crying.

"Hey," Hanamaki enveloped his friend in a side hug. "It's okay. Iwa's gonna be okay. You'll see him soon." Hanamaki comforted.

Oikawa looked at him, "Can't I see him now?" he asked.

Hanamaki fell silent for a while, "Sure, I'll let you in." he said smiling. Oikawa's eyes widened as Hanamaki stood up and walked towards Iwaizumi's door. He stood up as well, and followed him. Hanamaki opened the door. Oikawa walked in the room. 

It felt like his heart and brain short circuited. He wanted to cry more, but he was too shocked to do so. He felt sad but he's also in disbelief. 

The sound of the EKG and the ventilator felt deafening.

His eyes travelled the room. There were too many apparatus in the room and most of them were connected to Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi laid there amidst the apparatus. He has a tube in his mouth that breathes for him as the anesthetics do not let his lungs work on its own. There were many bags connected to him with tubes and there were other tubes from the inside of his stomach going out. 

Iwaizumi looked so vulnerable, and it was so terrifying. 

Oikawa stood beside Iwaizumi's bed. He wanted to touch the man, but he also felt like if he did, Iwaizumi would crumble away.

"Iwa-chan…" he called, hoping Iwaizumi would hear his name and wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, leave a comment and lemme know what you think hehe


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn! I cannot believe I am updating this. I thought I've given up on this already hahaha anyways...

The next two mornings were spent still waiting for Iwaizumi to wake up. Sugawara ran tests for his kidneys and fortunately, it wasn’t severely damaged beyond just taking medicine. 

“He’s lucky his kidneys are not damaged.” Sugawara told Iwaizumi’s parents. “Though like his brain, there was also some water in his kidneys but we were able to drain it out. His sodium is back to 130 which is safe, while his potassium’s almost back to normal, and still rising so we don’t have to worry about that.” Sugawara smiled.

The Iwaizumis let out a sigh of relief. “When will he wake up?” Mr. Iwaizumi asked.

Sugawara kept his smile, but the slight change in it was unhideable. “As much as we want to remove him from the MIC, his EEG shows that his brain is not ready for it yet.” Sugawara said sadly. “We want to make sure that his brain is properly healed and that we can avoid any permanent neurological and cognitive problems.”

Sugawara and the Iwaizumis fell silent. Sugawara plastered another big smile and said, “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. We are just taking extra measures since the brain is a very delicate organ.” He wrapped his arms around Mrs. Iwaizumi’s shoulders, who’s looking very worried. 

“But you said yesterday, the longer he is in the coma, the harder it will be to wake him up.” Mr. Iwaizumi said with a worried tone. 

Sugawara gave him a kind smile. “As soon as we see improvement with his brain activity, we will begin the process of waking him.”

The Iwaizumis sighed again. Although the burden wasn’t fully removed, the fact that Iwaizumi is healing is enough. 

“Thank you so much, Dr. Sugawara.” Mrs. Iwaizumi said. Sugawara smiled weakly and rubbed Mrs. Iwaizumi’s back for the last time before excusing himself.

He went to the nurse’s station “Can you please update Dr. Iwaizumi’s chart? Here’s his chart for today.” He handed the clipboard to the nurse in charge and went to his office. 

To say that Sugawara is tired is an understatement. It’s not just because he’s been going in and out of the hospital outside his shift because he wanted to keep an eye on Iwaizumi, but also because of the weight that would always settle on his chest whenever he would see Iwaizumi lying seemingly lifeless on his bed in the fucking ICU. It’s not something he wanted to see ever. 

Someone knocked on the door the moment Sugawara sat on his chair. “Come in.” he said. “Hey.” It was Hanamaki. He entered the room and sat on the sofa. “You have to go home.” Hanamaki said. “Why? What happened? Did something happen at home?” What happened? Did something happen at home?Sugawara asked worriedly. He quickly fetched his phone out of his pocket to check for missed messages or calls. 

"No, no," Hanamaki chuckled softly. "It's not like that." He looked at Sugawara, "I mean, look at you." He pointed all five fingers to Sugawara, "You're a mess. You should go home and rest." Hanamaki stated. 

  
  


They both chuckled softly, followed by an unsettling silence. They both sat silently, but their thoughts were shouting. They've been trained to remain calm, to accept the reality of death, to accept whatever happens to their patients after trying whatever they could. They were so good at it, but this situation feels like their first patient ever, whom they wanted to save no matter what, except that the thrill of being new to the field is no longer there and there is only fear. Fear of something going wrong: _What if we couldn't wake him up? What if his brain doesn't heal properly at all? What if there's permanent damage? What if his body doesn't hold out?_ So many questions and uncertainties. The insufferable waiting and all the helplessness that follows with it. The guilt of not being able to know, and the looks on Iwaizumi's parents' face whenever they have to update them. They don't want to feel anything and yet they feel everything. 

"I guess I'll give Dr. Hirose a visit." Sugawara finally said. "Daichi's off tonight so I guess it's perfect timing." He said with a small smile. 

"Yeah," Hanamaki stood up. "Yesterday was my off so don't worry about Iwa, I'll check on him regularly." Hanamaki smiled as well. "I'll be going now. I actually just came here to tell you that." he said jokingly. Although he wanted to joke around, the two didn't seem to be in the mood to do so; and what he said wasn't even a joke at all. He meant it. He really wanted to check up on Suga and tell him to take a break because he wasn't able to do that with Iwaizumi. He walked towards the door and went out. 

_________________

The moment Hanamaki left, he gave Daichi a call. "Hey," he greeted the moment Daichi picked the call. "Hey," Daichi greeted back. "I miss you. Will you be home tonight?" 

"Yeah," Sugawara said. "I miss you too," he said with a wela smile. "So much." His voice cracked. He felt his eyes heating up and tears starting well in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Daichi said worriedly. "Did something happen with Iwaizumi?"

Sugawara didn't respond. He just sobbed quietly, letting his bottled up emotions finally flow out while Daichi hushes him comfortingly on the other line. 

"No, he's…" Sugawara said after a while, "Well, he's… he’s...sleeping. I can't really say he's okay,” he sniffed. “...but he's stable." Sugawara said. "It's just that…" he sniffs, "it's just too much." He let out another sob, trying to inhale. "I'm scared, Daichi." he said. “I’m scared. What if he never wakes up? What if--”

“No.” Daichi interrupted. “If you continue to think about the ‘what ifs’, you won’t ever stop.” He said sternly. He breathed deeply and exhaled, “Here’s what we can do,” he could hear Sugawara sniff, trying to calm himself down. “I’ll fetch you from the hospital, we’ll have dinner at home, and then we’ll watch a movie till we fall asleep.” He paused for a moment. “How does that sound to you?” 

Sugawara wiped the tears on his face and calmed himself down. _Yes, nothing will go wrong. Nothing CAN go wrong._ He convinced himself. "That sounds perfect." he replied with a smile on his face.

When Daichi and Suga got home, Suga went directly to the bathroom to take a bath. Daichi set the table, sofa, and the TV. 

They spent the night exactly the way Daichi suggested, which somehow eased Sugawara's stress. He fell asleep in the middle of the second movie.

But the effect of his at home date night with Daichi wore off at around 2am when he jolted awake, gasping for air, sweat soaking his shirt. Daichi was woken up by the action. 

"Wha-" Daichi asked groggily, when he looked at his partner, he was alarmed. "Hey," he sat up straight and placed an arm around Suga. He was still very much shaken up. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Sugawara gulped, his eyes too wide. "I heard his ribs crack…" he whispered. 

"What do you mean?" Daichi asked softly. 

"His ribs cracked." Suga said more coherently.

"Whose...ribs?" Daichi hesitated to ask.

"It kept replaying in my mind Daichi." Sugawara's voice broke. "Iwaizumi's heart stopping…" he sobbed.

Daichi hugged Suga, which made Suga cry harder. "Hey, he's gonna be okay." Daichi rubbed Suga's back. "He will be. He'll make sure of it." he said sternly.

Suga continued crying. "I don't think I will ever be okay, unless I see him walking on his own again."

Daichi broke the hug, "Babe, look at me." Suga tried his best to meet his eyes

"You're doing your best. The whole hospital is doing their best." Daichi said softly. "And it's Iwaizumi. He's been through so much. He can get through this." 

Suga tried his best to calm down. He kept his gaze on his partner's face, which helped him calm down. Daichi pulled him back to a hug, until he stopped crying. They lay down again and went back to sleep.

____________

The next day, Dr. Ueno brought the good news that Iwaizumi's brain swelling has subsided, but not fully. 

"We'll observe his brain activity for the next 24 to 48 hours to see if we can remove him from the induced coma." he informed the Iwaizumis with a smile. 

When Oikawa got to the hospital from the university, he heard the news and almost fell on his knees because of relief. He went to the university because of Hanamaki who threatened that he will never set foot in the hospital if he doesn't rest. It was effective enough. 

Just like Suga, Oikawa also gets nightmares of the night when Iwaizumi fell right before his eyes. He couldn't get it off his mind that when he gets the littlest of rest, his brain just decides to remind him of it.

Last night, however, was different. He was able to catch a few hours of sleep, making him a bit more functional than he was in the past 2 days. 

He was also allowed to enter Iwaizumi's ICU room, courtesy of the Iwaizumis. 

That night, Oikawa offered to stay with Iwaizumi, and asked the couple to go home and catch some sleep. They looked exhausted and so sleep deprived. 

"We deeply appreciate the offer, Tooru-kun," Mrs. Iwaizumi smiled, "but I don't think I can leave with peace in my mind while Hajime is still breathing through a tube." she said.

Oikawa felt himself blush of embarrassment. Mrs. Iwaizumi was quick to catch it. "I-"

"Oh, no need to be embarrased dear," she said softly, "It's just, I don't think I can ever leave him like this." she said, holding Iwaizumi's hand. 

Oikawa nodded. "Me too." he said, looking at Iwaizumi's almost lifeless figure. 

When Mr. Iwaizumi got back from getting dinner, he asked Oikawa and Mrs. Iwaizumi to eat dinner first and then he'll stay with Iwaizumi while they eat. Oikawa instead offered to stay so the two can eat first.

"You have to at least eat," Oikawa said with a soft smile. "Don't worry about me, I had a snack before getting here." _Lie._

The Iwaizumis smiled. They both took one look at their only son, then went to the hospital cafeteria to eat. Since they are in the ICU, they are not allowed to eat inside Iwaizumi's room. 

Oikawa took the chair near the sofa and dragged it near Iwaizumi's bed. 

"Iwa-chan," he started. His eyes gazed on Iwaizumi's hand, then took it. He looked at Iwaizumi's face.

"You have to wake up already, you know?" he said with a chuckle. "Too much sleep is not healthy!" he tried to kid. 

He felt his tears well up. "Have you seen Makki lately? He looks like a mom of 4 toddlers already." he said, laughing, with tears rolling down his cheeks. "I think he's so stressed out, that he can no longer keep up with his vanity."

"Kou-chan too. He doesn't look so kind anymore." Oikawa continued.

"It never really changed," he inhaled deeply, "the fact that so many rely on your strength. You're always needed." he let the tears fall.

"So you gotta get back to us," he said. "you hear me? You have to. I still have a lot to say to you." he said. He leaned his head on the side of Iwaizumi's bed, letting the tears he held in the whole day out.

When the Iwaizumis got back, they found a sleeping Oikawa at Iwaizumi’s side. Mrs. Iwaizumi smiled at the sight. She draped a blanket over Oikawa and left him sleeping beside her son. 

_____________

The next day was a Saturday, which means it was Oikawa's day off. 

He woke up the next morning shaken, thinking he was late for work. He immediately asked Mrs. Iwaizumi, "What time is it?" a bit too frantic than he wanted.

"It's 9:30 in the morning." Mrs Iwaizumi replied in confusion. 

"Crap, I'm gonna be late!" he exclaimed. He quickly collected his things. 

"Tooru-kun, do you have Saturday classes?" Mrs. Iwaizumi asked.

Oikawa had a confused look, "It's Saturday?" he asked. Mrs. Iwaizumi nodded. Oikawa sighed and let his shoulder fall.

The Iwaizumis laughed at that. 

At noon, Sugawara entered the ICU room. He informed fhe family about Iwaizumi's latest lab results.

"His sodium levels are now stable, and so is his potassium. His kidneys did not suffer anything worse, but he will need medication to avoid the worse." he emphasized the last words. 

"Good thing is that the edema did not spread to his other organs, especially the lungs and his heart." he continued. 

"All we have to do now," he glanced at Iwaizumi's sleeping figure, "is to wait for him to wake up."

Heavy silence filled the room. "But Dr. Ueno said there was an improvement in his brain activity!" Mr. Iwaizumi spoke optimistically, breaking the silence.

"Yes, I was informed." Suga said with a smile. "He'll come in later to inform you guys." he said. He bowed his head to the Iwaizumis, and tapped Oikawa's shoulder when he passed by him.

Oikawa noticed the lack of optimism with Suga's statement. 

Doctor Ueno came early in the afternoon. He said they would be assessing Iwaizumi's brain activity and neurological responses. 

Aside from the EEG, the doctors also assessed Iwaizumi's physical responses. 

"From what we have checked, the swelling in his has completely subsided now, and we can now lower down the dosage of sedatives to get him ready to wake up." the doctor said with an optimistic tone.

"Doc," Oikawa said, getting the attention of the doctor, "how are we sure that he would really wake up?"

This made Mrs. Iwaizumi's face that was lightening up, darken again. Mr. Iwaizumi looked worried. The doctor was taken aback. 

"Well, his EEG output and neurological assessment results show a very positive and high chance of him becoming conscious once off of the induced coma." Dr. Ueno explained. "This doesn't mean that there's NO chance at all that he wouldn't wake up, but it does give us an idea of how big the possibility ofnhim waking up is."

Oikawa nodded slightly. So did the Iwaizumis. "The results doesn't also ensure that he would wale up without damage, because we will never know that unless he opens his eyes, speak, and walk without problems. But again, it shows nothing wrong so we are very optimistic of a positive outcome." Dr. Ueno continued. 

Mr. Iwaizumi sighed, enveloped Mrs. Iwaizumi into a hug. There's nothing wrong with asking questions and getting answers. There's also nothing wrong with knowing the risks of their son's condition. But the reality never really did not hurt. 

It's terrifying, knowing what could happen even after getting past through the first challenge. It's like a video game that only becomes harder as you clear each level. 

Dr. Ueno explained that the nurses will be busying themselves with Iwaizumi since they will be lowering the sedative doses gradually.

Hanamaki and 2 other nurses were the ones who were managing the sedatives. He would sometimes have a small talk with the family, sometimes with Oikawa, sometimes he just focused on what he was doing. Oikawa was actually fascinated looking at him work so seriously. 

"Makki, I never knew you could look that serious." Oikawa told him once with a smirk. 

Hanamaki snorted. "If somebody in high school told me the goofy pink haired guy I befriended will be saving people, I would've bought you more ice cream!" he said with a chuckle.

"Hah, who would've thought right?!" Hanamaki said with a chuckle, while he writes on his clipboard. His eyes glanced towards Iwaizumi. His eyes looked sad. He averted his eyes and went back to updating his charts. 

Oikawa never missed any of Hanamaki's actions. He sighed, as he held Iwaizumi's hand.

"Who would've thought, indeed…" he said with a sad tone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this one is long but not as eventful :'( BUT I DO HAVE A PICTURE NOW OF HOW THIS ENDS!! Please bear with me. Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
